rumisong Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 The guests we had at our Thanksgiving celebration brought with them (besides the entire meal, we didnt have to cook a thing- how bout that?!)... brought with them a tradition of reading one thing or playing/singing one song etc after the meal was over, yet as we were still gathered around the table... and so, I pulled out a poem that I wrote a year ago, and added to it for the occasion... heaven gives us the answers, I thinkit whispers in our ears in the quiet of the night "in the morning" it says,"I want you to go into your gardenand put your hands straight into the dirtdont wait till morning -do it right nowstraight insharp, like knife edged trowelsand pull up two handfullstenderly, like quilt lined basketsand give it a good long look -carefully, like you mean to find somethingand whatever you see there,that has not already fallen from your fingersall that wriggles and shifts and glimmers off of the starlightask that -ask that, what Love isin that banquetthat is where Ive left it hiding -and then, wait for a bitthe candle youve usedto light your way,let it burn off some of its waxand then, ask it again it will tell you of friendswho come great distancesto meet you where you arelet it tell you of Love that sets a tablefor a meal of compassion and careborn to this world in every moment it will speak of the abundanceit has brought to your doorstepit will speak of a dawnlight blessingthe witness in a few grains of glintinghumility and toil transformedboulders become pebbles andthe fruit of the fall becomes songs it carves this Lifedirectly from your riband seasons from the heartdisplayed there to beholdcupped in a timeless passionthe gifts of human kindnesssignaled from leaf and dust Let this Love-humusbecome the sensesthe smells, the touch,the awareness of mysterythat will not be turned awayfrom the feast It will tell youwhat you are looking forthis is your selfthis inquisitive groundout of your own eyes, it sees theres no where to go but nowtheres no when to be but here andif you can,have a laugh at ALL of this-it's in this way,that Loves embracewill find its way home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 You partook in an interesting tradition, Rumisong, but this is the part I could get used to -- The guests we had at our Thanksgiving celebration brought with them ... the entire meal, we didnt have to cook a thing- how bout that?!) . I like how, in your poem, heaven speaks -- "in the morning" it says, "I want you to go into your garden and put your hands straight into the dirt -- and how its directives quickly escalate, exhibiting an urgency, an excitement -- dont wait till morning - do it right now straight in ... For me, the next lines take a sinister turn -- sharp, like knife edged trowels and pull up two handfulls tenderly, like quilt lined baskets and give it a good long look - carefully, like you mean to find something and whatever you see there, that has not already fallen from your fingers ... Images of "sharp," knife edged trowels coupled with digging in the dirt, at night, in the garden, with a sense of purpose, makes me think I'm looking into the mind of a serial killer. Nevertheless, there's something sublime about all that wriggles and shifts and glimmers off of the starlight, how the instructions continue -- ask that - ask that, what Love is -- and so forth. I like how it will tell you of friends who come great distances to meet you where you are, and how it carves this Life directly from your rib, but the following lines are my favorites of all: there's no where to go but now there's no when to be but here ... Also, Love-humus and leaf and dust are delightfully original. It's notable that you use Thanks Giving for the title, and Thanksgiving in your introduction to the poem. This would seem to indicate that they are not the same. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 HI RUMISONG, nice to meet you. i liked how heaven speaks also. i enjoyed this poem alot. it put me in a festive mood again. by the way welcome to the forum. nice to meet you. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 HI RUMISONG, nice to meet you. i liked how heaven speaks also. i enjoyed this poem alot. it put me in a festive mood again. by the way welcome to the forum. nice to meet you. victor Hi Victor, and thank you- Im feeling quite welcomed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 tonyv wrote: You partook in an interesting tradition, Rumisong, but this is the part I could get used to -- The guests we had at our Thanksgiving celebration brought with them ... the entire meal, we didnt have to cook a thing- how bout that?!) . I may get used to it too- if Im here in the same place next year- my roommates family came in from NY, and did all the cooking- we just supplied the house... (my roommate and I are like brothers, and his youngest daughter is my "niece" in all the ways of the heart- and so his oldest daughter and her family in-law came up, and they too have accepted me and the closeness thats here) I like how, in your poem, heaven speaks -- I like how heaven actually speaks to me! often when I wake up first thing in the morning For me, the next lines take a sinister turn -- Images of "sharp," knife edged trowels coupled with digging in the dirt, at night, in the garden, with a sense of purpose, makes me think I'm looking into the mind of a serial killer. Nevertheless, there's something sublime about all that wriggles and shifts and glimmers off of the starlight, LOL! yes, of course! I was just saying over in the Haiku thread- much of my writing has had this urgency Ill find- its around the notion of "dying to self" as it were- seeing the ending of ones grasping and struggle - so Im very pleased here that you picked this up in my poem too! but the following lines are my favorites of all: there's no where to go but now there's no when to be but here ... excellent! Also, Love-humus and leaf and dust are delightfully original. ah, Love-humus... Ill have to give some credit for that use of combination-word in my poem, to Coleman Barks- the great and popular translator of poems by Jelal-ad-Din Rumi (wherefrom I took this moniker years ago) ... he will often come up with a hyphenated phrase similar to this, and so has effectively taught me to try to think of how to use this device too... they are creeping into my normal speech even!- my mind is "thinking" in hyphenateds, as it comes upon a thought, at times... It's notable that you use Thanks Giving for the title, and Thanksgiving in your introduction to the poem. This would seem to indicate that they are not the same. Its perfect that you caught that- very good- yes, this was rather the intent... to get the "holiday" aspect of the day back to its "roots" (pun fully intended ;)) thank you so much for taking time with my poem- I see now what you intend for this forum, and I will do my best to be a good participant to honor that! this has been an excellent welcome to this place- thank you again rs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 A lovely ballad of gratitude and 'real' thanksgiving. I agree with all of the above, and truly appreciate the genesis of your nom de plume, Rumi would have celebrated this! DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 What is there more to say :) Hello rumisong. I was reading your work on the board, but I wasn't able to work enough, so here is me too, jumping to your poem. I like how the poem shuts even since the beginning. It is interesting that you are not using much punctuations. So that made me a little bit confused while reading it :). I couldn't stop :D. But anyway, the poem captures the reader's eye, so it's ok even like this, in which I am sure, that you wrote that way, because of some reason. I am glad to see you all over the board, that proves that you like the board, so far, so that makes me happy, if you enjoy. Thank you sharing your work here with us. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hello rumisong, A beautiful poem both in thought and your use of language. How well it flows and gives the reader a glow of hope. The uplifting tone is so reminiscent of your namesake's search for divine love. it will tell you of friends who come great distances to meet you where you are let it tell you of Love that sets a table for a meal of compassion and care born to this world in every moment There's also what is perhaps called wiccan or shamanic in the celebratory images: it carves this Life directly from your rib and seasons from the heart displayed there to behold cupped in a timeless passion the gifts of human kindness signaled from leaf and dust Let this Love-humus become the senses the smells, the touch, the awareness of mystery that will not be turned away from the feast It will tell you what you are looking for this is your self Thank you for sharing this here. Happy New year and may all the blessings you describe so splendidly in your work be yours too. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 goldenlangur wrote: A beautiful poem both in thought and your use of language. How well it flows and gives the reader a glow of hope. The uplifting tone is so reminiscent of your namesake's search for divine love. *BIG Smiles* you know that you pay me the HIGHEST compliment saying this...! There's also what is perhaps called wiccan or shamanic in the celebratory images: Thats great that youre seeing that... yes, there is some Pagen in me as well! added into the Buddhist/Sufi/Aboriginal/Christian-Mystic spiritualities... Happy New year and may all the blessings you describe so splendidly in your work be yours too. Peace and Blessings to you and all around you, dear friend and to all of everyone here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hi Alek! Im very glad for your comments on this poem- thank you! Aleksandra wrote: It is interesting that you are not using much punctuations. So that made me a little bit confused while reading it :). I couldn't stop :D. But anyway, the poem captures the reader's eye, so it's ok even like this, in which I am sure, that you wrote that way, because of some reason. No no- this is really a very important thing- Im all too aware of how unaware I can be about how any care-less-ness with English and puntuation that I may find myself insisting on, may have an impact on those for whom English is not a first language... I want to learn what I need to learn about this very thing- I want to do better in this- (and of course, not compromising whatever I find essential to my poetic message along the way) - PLEASE do teach me by telling me whenEVER you find something that makes it extra difficult to read (only the extra difficult ones though, the regular difficult things I an willing to let you struggle with *evil grin*) ... I know that I can be much too cavalier with my punctuation and my attitude about it- I really dont want it to come to look like a flagrant disregard for others... but I do want it to continue to express "me" as well (which, alas, can be 'different' ;)) Of course, this doesnt mean that I will change myself to suit others at some whim- but I really DO what to be sure that the awareness is there more than it is now, and to allow that awareness to come in and change what 'needs to be changed'... this is my poetry-belief- that awareness itself carries the wisdom that is needed- and not attempts at conformity... So please do, if you are willing- please do continue to tell me when my punctuation/cadence/spacing etc, causes confusion... it may in fact be just plain old BAD writing too! (ha- and here is me, thinking "what a poet, am I" ;)) note to self: things I know I must do better at when communicating with an INTERNATIONAL audience... Starting sentences with a capital letter- Using one period instead of an elipse when ending a sentence...(at least, not ALL the time...) Not arbitrarily using Captial letters in the middle of a sentence. Put apostrophes into your contractions!!! (this one you know you are really bad at!) Pay attention when Aleksandra and others tell you more things you need to work on! Dont be so quick to disregard... I am glad to see you all over the board, that proves that you like the board, so far, so that makes me happy, if you enjoy. I think it should prove exactly that! Because it is SO! Im very much enjoying my time here- and Im doing as much lurking as I am participating too! - there's much to catch up on with what-all you have been doing around here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I LOVE how you introduce the poems you have.... more people should do that....but even that has it's creative side.... poem was well crafted.....real......earthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 pawn shop wrote: I LOVE how you introduce the poems you have.... more people should do that....but even that has it's creative side.... Oh, Cool! thats nice to hear ah, but see- now Im going to think each time I post something 'lets be sure not to forget an intro' ... see what you did? youve set me up! *kidding!* thanks ps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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