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Poetry Magnum Opus

Pride


douglas
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and so it grew

a swollen

cancerous collection

of justifications and arrogance

sapping the energy

from those who knew you

 

and so destructive was this spell

this internal force

that its pull could be felt

thousands of kilometers away

 

and you became lost within yourself

your soul growing dark and destructive

as this malignancy of spirit

took full possession of you

 

and your eyes darkened

and your spine bent

and your lips thinned

and your chi leaked

like black oil

from a corroded pipe.

To receive love, you have to give it...

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Pride is such a powerful word, Douglas. By using it for the title, you set the bar high.

 

It grew, and you start out with a negative personification of "it" --

a swollen

cancerous collection

of justifications and arrogance

sapping the energy

from those who knew you

-- which you somehow, ever so subtly, offset by calling it a "spell," an "internal force" so powerful,

that its pull could be felt

thousands of kilometers away.

I love when vast distances themselves are portrayed, or used to show something, and you do that well here. And despite the narrator's apparent disdain for the one whom he is addressing--

and you became lost within yourself

your soul growing dark and destructive

as this malignancy of spirit

took full possession of you

-- there remains an undercurrent of haughtiness, on the narrator's own part, which he projects onto his subject all the way to the poem's triumphant ending:

and your eyes darkened

and your spine bent

and your lips thinned

and your chi leaked

like black oil

from a corroded pipe.

Though the narrator seems to be addressing another person, his contempt could in fact be directed at himself, at pride itself, or at any combination of the three simultaneously. For me, this gives the poem universal appeal, and it brings to mind the ending lines of one of my favorite poet's, Edgar Bowers', lines at the end of his poem #10 (from "Autumn Shade"), where he writes,

My image of myself, apart, informed

By many deaths, resists me, and I stay

Almost as I have been, intact, aware,

Alive, though proud and cautious, even afraid.

I revel in the same sentiment when I read your poem Pride. Well done, and thank you for sharing it!

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Aleksandra

Dear Douglas. I noticed that you made some new recognizable writing strand in your writing. The ends of the poem are very similar, in the way how they are written. It gives the same sense of silence...

 

I like this poem Douglas.

I love a lot this part:

 

and you became lost within yourself

your soul growing dark and destructive

as this malignancy of spirit

took full possession of you

I love the quoted piece, because you are using wonderful expressions as the last two bold lines.

 

Wonderful poem, and I agree with Tony where he says about universal appeal. The poem is very nice written and you put the best title for this comment Pride

 

Well done

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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douglas,

 

Nice to see you. I saw your name all over the place in one day! Thanks for your contribution.

 

The word "pride" has a commendatory as well as a derogatory sense. I had the positive meaning in mind at first until I read the poem. I like how you describe "pride" as

 

and so it grew

a swollen

cancerous collection

of justifications and arrogance

 

That's exactly how harmful it is.

 

I also like the ending in parallel lines, the repeated part makes the poem powerful.

 

and your eyes darkened

and your spine bent

and your lips thinned

and your chi leaked

 

Glad and surprised to see your use of "chi", how succinct it is! I wonder what its English equivalent is.

 

I find some of the words used in the poem are abstract, but in a good way, for abstraction makes people think.

 

Thanks for the read.

 

Lake

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goldenlangur

Hello Douglas,

 

Wonderful to see you back and in such good poetic form icon_smile.gif

 

One gets a deep sense of loss and mourning here. Pride, a destructive force destroys all that is lively, joyous and good. The analogy of cancer here works very well. Its growth unstoppable and what it leaves in its wake is devastation of hope and love.

 

These lines describe vividly the corrosive effect of this malaise of the soul:

 

 

douglas wrote:

 

and your eyes darkened

and your spine bent

and your lips thinned

and your chi leaked

like black oil

from a corroded pipe.

 

 

Beautifully expressed and deeply moving.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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once again, thank you for your intelligent response to this poem and for your insightfulness.

 

indeed, pride is such an insidious and malignant state of mind. it harms both the person afflicted and those who are in contact with the person. i loved your words - "pride, a destructive force destroys all that is lively, joyous and good."

 

wise and totally spot on! that was what i was trying to express about the emotion through this poem.

 

with light, douglas

To receive love, you have to give it...

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