Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Recommended Posts

I have one poem recorded by a professional music company. Namely...SNOW STORM. As of this date it has not accomplished what I had hopes it might do. I'm still pushing on it. This time I am offering a poem before I attempt to have another recording made;  kind of testing the waters before I get "Greenbacks" involved.

Queen of the River

 Durin’ winter nights; around his table we’d sit, 
Sharin’’ tales of the river; n’ stories we wont forget. 
Downin’ his rum, n’ givin’ his mouth a wipe, 
Cap lit his meerschaum, n’ drew heavy on the pipe. 

As smoke curled upward; he brought to our attention, 
A disaster on the river, few people ever mention. 
"My barge was headin’ north, pushin’ cane n’ flour, 
I saw her near Vicksburg, close to mid-night hour. 

Yeah, it was the Queen...she stood out from the rest, 
She wasn’t upper class, tho’ she catered to the best. 
She courted n’ charmed, every man she knew, 
Gamblers, Noblemen, even a Statesman or two. 

I knew the Queen...she even courted me;
Swift as a catfish, when she had to be.
She was squat n’ broad, a sight to be seen. 
Once on board her, you’d not forget the Queen.

Well stacked...she'd could put on a show, 
Could belch louder, than other wheeler s you know,
She needed more support, than most of her kind, 
Still, I  favored, the action of her behind.

Roulette wheels turnin', n' her girls offer'n' their prize, 
Divestin’ men of money; she met her sad demise. 
A hellish storm brewed, durin’ the darkest hour... 
Her lights were dimmin’, she was losin’ power. 

Her stern-wheel churnin’, n’ horn soundin’ warnin’. 
Johnson in the wheelhouse, wouldn’ see ‘nother mornin’. 
She was headin' below, and disappear'n from sight.
The Queen was sinkin’, she had lost her fight, 

All those aboard her, were caught by surprise; 
Nary a one survived, Ol’ Miss claimed its prize. 
Quite a tragedy, her loss still brings a shiver; 
Nothin’ can replace one of the finest on the river. 

Aww there’s times I see her up from the bed, 
As proud as ever, but just a vision in my head.
I sure miss the Queen, she stood out from the rest, 
She wasn’ upper class, but she was the best." 

YarnSpinner
(copyright 12-1-2013)
 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 3/30/2018 at 3:47 PM, YarnSpinner said:

... As of this date it has not accomplished what I had hopes it might do. I'm still pushing on it. This time I am offering a poem before I attempt to have another recording made;  kind of testing the waters before I get "Greenbacks" involved.

I would be interested in learning what your specific hopes for "Snow Storm" were/are. That would help me to offer relevant thoughts re this poem.

I'll start by saying the narrative is very entertaining. I love the personification, and the story almost has a ghost story effect. It kept my interest from start to finish, and I enjoyed the vernacular.

As for setting it to music, how would you like it to turn out? You've already proven that a poem can be set to music ("Snow Storm"), but is that what you would like to do, namely set a poem to music? Or do you want a song? I don't have any training in composition, but I do love music, and as I've understood it, songs (especially in popular music) adhere to a structure, usually something like verse/verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus. That's not entirely accurate, but it's something like that, and I'm using it for illustrative purposes.

I would love to write a song and designate it for a favorite artist. Were I to try that, I would first choose an artist or group of artists (for better chances of success) whom to target. Then I would write a poem from which I would extract the best parts and dumb it down to lyrics which would fit the frame (verse/chorus, etc) of a song depending on my chosen genre of music. I play some guitar, and I would try to come up with a hook for the song and maybe compose an underlying melody. Then I would submit it to professionals.

I'm out of time, but I hope to this week choose a song I like and present it in an article along with a link to a youtube clip of the song. I'll try to explain why I like the song, why I think it works as a song.

I'm not sure if this reply helps. I'd really like to know if it's at least pointing in the right direction.

Tony

Edited by tonyv
Edited a bit for correction/clarification

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, tonyv said:

I would be interested in learning what your specific hopes for "Snow Storm" were/are. That would help me to offer relevant thoughts re this poem.

I'll start by saying the narrative is very entertaining. I love the personification, and the story almost has a ghost story effect. It kept my interest from start to finish, and I enjoyed the vernacular.

As for setting it to music, how would you like it to turn out? You've already proven that a poem can be set to music ("Snow Storm"), but is that what you would like to do, namely set a poem to music? Or do you want a song? I don't have any training in composition, but I do love music, and as I've understood it, songs (especially in popular music) adhere to a structure, usually something like verse/verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus. That's not entirely accurate, but it's something like that, and I'm using it for illustrative purposes.

I would love to write a song and designate it for a favorite artist. Were I to try that, I would first choose an artist or group of artists (for better chances of success) whom to target. Then I would write a poem from which I would extract the best parts and dumb it down to lyrics which would fit the frame (verse/chorus, etc) of a song depending on my chosen genre of music. I play some guitar, and I would try to compose a very rough frame for the song and an underlying melody. Then I would submit it to professionals.

I'm out of time, but I hope to this week choose a song I like and present it in an article along with a link to youtube clip of the song. I'll try to explain why I like the song, why I think it works as a song.

I'm not sure if this reply helps. I'd really like to know if it's at least pointing in the right direction.

Tony

Tony: I think the only way I can explain this or any of my rhyme poetry. First; writing, in this manner I am learning to say as much as possible without repeating lines that seemed to be already said in a different manner; redundancy if you will. Secondly: to write in this fashion for this reason. Without having to read a more lengthy version, with all the adjectives and adverbs to color it; every reader engrossed, is going to draw a mental picture in their mind, that can and will, vary greatly from reader to reader.

As to how I would like the Queen of the River to turn out? I have learned to some degree, the tone and softness or strength of a singer will and does create color to help visions occur readily in the listener mind. When music is added, it too emphasizes or matches feeling to certain words at the right moment. (We're back to my earlier analogy again. When a horse named "Singer" is pulling a plow along side of a horse named "Music", they both have to meet at the end of a row at the same time. They also work in the same cadence of strength and pull.)

If you do attempt to musically  record a poem or lyrics, you will see what I'm attempting to say. Studios will take your recording and will hone it, keeping your thoughts in mind, but can possibly come up with a version slightly different, or it will enhance your song by smoothing out "bumps" you did not notice.

Last: It may work as you would hope... to designate this poem/song version in the direction of a particular singer, but I wouldn't put a lot of emphasis on it. I would think you will find you have to be sitting at the "Right hand of named Singer"; buddy...buddy, to know exactly how they'll respond to song/music submitted. Once a song is recorded, Studios know how to choose, and they will direct your offering in their direction of specific artists to listen to. Then you can only hope it meets likes and dislikes. That is "Bread and Butter" to them, if they believe it can become a hit.

Search the web for musical studios, and for style music they prefer. 

Where there is a desire TONY..."Go For IT".

YarnSpiner

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.