goldenlangur Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 there she goes up the stone steps to the door my mother in green and black brocade how beautiful, how sad goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Its a great Tanka (yes? Ive only just learned about them, but I think I can say this much... well, see- I only think I can ;)) the image is pretty complete here- "there she goes" and "up the steps" tell us right away that we are at the bottom of the steps and are about to watch her disappear into some place that may or may not be familiar to us, the door- the sadness we feel is echoed by the hard cold stone of the steps, and the climb that mother has to make - there is a sense of being compelled to make this climb- like there is no option really... "there she goes up..." gives us this before we come to realize there is a sadness due in the last line but the beauty which is mother, and which she allows her brocade garment to compliment is unmistakably making this climb with her... now, what this reader is left to wonder, is if there is a special symbolism in the green and black... is there some reason for those colors in this poem? or just the happenstance of this day? Im happy to be engaging this poem tonight, gl- thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hi rumisong, Thank you for your thoughtful and close reading of this tanka. I like this very much: rumisong wrote: "there she goes" and "up the steps" tell us right away that we are at the bottom of the steps and are about to watch her disappear into some place that may or may not be familiar to us, the door- the sadness we feel is echoed by the hard cold stone of the steps, and the climb that mother has to make - there is a sense of being compelled to make this climb- like there is no option really... "there she goes up..." gives us this before we come to realize there is a sadness due in the last line but the beauty which is mother, and which she allows her brocade garment to compliment is unmistakably making this climb with her... I'm so glad that you noted the colors but as to to what they symbolize, I leave it up to you, the reader. With appreciation, goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 rumisong raised a good question re "a special symbolism in the green and black". Here's what I take ( of course, not other's interpretation ): Green - forests, vegetations, symbol of life. Black - earth, soil, symbol of cradle. up the stone steps to the door The stone steps make me think of stone structures including buildings, path paved with stones that wind up to the temples in the mountains... As rumi sadi, the beauty is the mother. Beautifully sad indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hi Golden, I get a feeling of perenniality from this poem, almost like the word again is invisibly appended to the first line. Is she visiting a tomb? Is she trapped in a relationship? These are the questions that enter my mind. The last line comes as a surprise, and it's particularly striking. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hi gl, This is nice. The tanka unlike the objective haiku, is a form through which personal thoughts and emotions can be communicated. I interpreted the sadness to be the narrators, probably because the mother was leaving. Green and black brocade sounds rich, as if the mother is wearing something special. The mention of the fabric is significant in such a short poem. Your poetry always carries a hint of the exotic to me, your imagery usually shares a piece of your world. A world before meeting you here I was unaware existed so forgive me for my ignorance which I am attempting correct. In the pictures I've seen on line, the everyday dress of the Bhutanese is woven earthen tones although costumes can be quite colorful. Green and black brokade suggests silk. I don't know the traditions of Bhutan, but here in the US a person in mourning would wear black so I bridged the gap in my head and am making the assumption that the garment worn by the mother could be mourning garb or she could be dressed for her own passing. I am just letting my imagination roam here and I am not asking for any answers. I simply am sharing the thoughts this poem has inspired within me. Funny though the poem mentions sadness, I did not feel sad reading it. I felt more the weight of the beauty in the relationship, an appreciation for the mother. I am grateful I had some alone time today to come here and read your poem. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 What was not written explicitly came to mind, GL. What has led to the departure? Why the acute observation of the mother going away? It is like a mixed feeling is being expressed. Mother is old, but her beauty remains. So sad that we grow old. And soon literally go away. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 A great exploration of the form. I agree with the wondrous crits.(short for critique)above, but find it far more existential in its conclusion: how beautiful, how sad is the spectrum of the phenomenology- It is reported as a fact, and reminds me of William Carlos Williams' Chickens and wheelbarrows, where you have inverted the "So much depends" putting it in the last place rather than the first.... My 2 cents DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 there she goesup the stone steps to the door my mother in green and black brocade how beautiful, how sad Hello goldenlangur. Wonderful provocative tanka. I just read all thoughts from everybody for this poem. And yes, all of them makes a good senses. I can agree with all of them, but it came on my mind something else too. It's possible to be a dream?! - I am wondering if that may be the meaning. Also the most close can be the view of graveyard, all expressions makes to me that kind of imagery: " up the stone steps to the door " then beautiful, because it's made a good looking eternal home, and sad - because it's gone... I love this tanka, I love the enigma inside. Thank you for sharing. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hi Lake, Tony, Tink, JoelJosol, DC and Aleksandra, Thoroughly enjoyed your wonderfully varied and original readings How well you've engaged with the tanka and given me new angles to consider. I love how you read the colors, Lake and also your idea of the stone steps, leading to 'temples in the mountains'. You've given a great contemporary twist, Tony, in your reading of the person being trapped in a relationship and after reading your review, I could see how 'again' and that sense of continuity, you picked up, comes across. Tink - after all these many moons it's really wonderful to get one of your detailed reviews. Love this interpretation very much: Green and black brokade suggests silk. I don't know the traditions of Bhutan, but here in the US a person in mourning would wear black so I bridged the gap in my head and am making the assumption that the garment worn by the mother could be mourning garb or she could be dressed for her own passing. I'm so glad that you read into the 'appreciation' for my mother. JoelJosol - what you say about the implicit, rather than the explicit in this piece is very true about a tanka and I appreciate how you saw the 'acute' details in the piece. You picked up well the notion of a passing' away of a person. DC - I'm humbled that this tanka brought to mind W Carlos Williams use of images in his delightful poem, which Tink introduced us to in her archive of reseach, not many moon ago. Aleksandra - I'm delighted that the 'dream' aspect came through for you and that the mix of beauty and sadness touched you. It is a recurring dream I have of my mother, who died 50+ not so long ago. So I don't really know what all the images mean. I appreciate how each one of you took such care to read and post your thoughts. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Lovely write gl, sharing and intimate, inviting the reader into this tender moment. Hope all is well with you badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 A big thank you badge for your warm words. How good to see you here How kind your good wishes! I hope that you had a good seasonal holiday. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
douglas Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 this poem was a pleasure to read. i felt that i was in a huge stone courtyard watching the scene you describe. i interpreted it as the poet watching his mother being carried in her coffin up stone steps in to a church - her coffin covered in green and black brocade. that is my interpretation of this exquisite poem. thank you for sharing it with us. douglas Quote To receive love, you have to give it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hello douglas, Thank you for a brilliant reading here: douglas wrote: i felt that i was in a huge stone courtyard watching the scene you describe. i interpreted it as the poet watching his mother being carried in her coffin up stone steps in to a church - her coffin covered in green and black brocade. douglas Each reader adds something. I appreciate your sensitive and thoughtful words. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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