Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Pablo's music


eclipse
 Share

Recommended Posts

Nine year old Pablo was fixated by the drumming

rain outside the attic window, he was autistic, a 
condition his mother struggled with, Pablo had
hidden her anti-depressants behind the glass case
of butterflies. The wind outside to seemed come and go 
like a rocking chair, Pablo had taught himself to 
play guitar, he heard music in the wind and the rain
and could see musical notation in the clouds, but
Pablo kept his music a secret.
 
Pablo noticed his mother staring at the clouds, they
contained fire when he saw them reflected in her eyes,
he also observed the twitching of butterfly wings in the
glass case. One summer evening Pablo's mother slipped
inside the attic unnoticed, she was enchanted by her son's
rain enraptured eyes and the music he was playing. The
butterflies had vanished, Pablo had brought them back to
life allowing them to leave through the window.
 
The trees in Pablo's garden kept their leaves through autumn and
winter. Between the borders of dreams and sleep Pablo heard
notes no one else could hear as he dreamed about the confluence
of two rivers of light where the wind's hands bled from collecting
butterflies exhausted from attempting to reach the moon, the blood
reacted to the light, Pablo could see himself emerging from the womb,
butterflies connected like an umbilical cord, he could see the moon 
shaving off it's beard of fire in his mother's eyes, she purged her grief
in it's flames as they fell, her husband died before Pablo was born.
 
Five butterflies returned, they were pressed against the attic window,
his mothers last vision of her husband was of of him clutching a music
box, Pablo began to wonder if this was the source of his music.
 
Pablo's father sang to him in a dream, the butterflies gathered to move and
sway like a rope in search of  a bell. 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You had me at the title.   This was really interesting.  The imagery weaving butterflies through out was intriguing .  Loved this poem.    

I wonder about this line "The wind outside "to seemed" come and go".    Did you mean "seemed to"?

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought you captured the spirit of an autistic child, his self-contained world, and their special talent. Just as Judi wrote it was beautiful the poem built its cohesiveness through the butterfly imagery and the music box in the end. 

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lovely:

 could see musical notation in the clouds

Link to comment
Share on other sites

David W. Parsley
On ‎4‎/‎16‎/‎2018 at 12:54 AM, eclipse said:
Pablo could see himself emerging from the womb,
butterflies connected like an umbilical cord

That is what the butterflies do for the whole poem.  No repetitions; just enchanting refrains forming lyrical chains.

"Moon" and "dream" occur here, but not in any previous 'eclipse' guises.  Their presences here are fresh, appropriate to theme.

Many memorable phrases and lines.  Do clean up the diction booboo noted by tinker, please.

Thank you for this wonderful creation, Barry.

 - Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.