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"I'm Fast"
When first he appeared, he was ragged and lean,
A wee bit small, but an eating machine
He would boast: “I’m fast...I’m fast"!

"No matter if the trap has cheese or meat,
I’m the fastest critter on four lil’ feet.
I can take the bait, give the treadle a tap,
And be long gone before the spring can snap.
"I’m fast."

"There ain’t no trap in any ol’ house,
That’s gonna’ catch this quick lil’ mouse.
I’m fast. . . Yes sir, I’m fast!"

Food got scarce, and while searching for more,
He left the house for a grocery store.
Once inside he exclaimed, “Oh My!
This must be heaven. . . what a way to die.
I’m gonna’ feast!”

He kept it a secret. . . his new found wealth;
With all this food, he improved his health.
But, it wasn’t long before he was found,
Because of calling cards tiny and round.
Said the grocer: “Yes sir, I got a problem.”

The grocer was smart; kept feeding him cheese.
Let him gorge himself, as much as he pleased.
The once lean face became so round,
His once gaunt belly now touched the ground.
“Oh my, I’m so fat.”

One day at last, right out in plain sight,
Appeared more temptation than he could fight.
The cheese on the treadle was meant for him;
The delicious scent made his mind grow dim.
“Oh dear. . . I sure am"

Trying to remember how it was in the past,
He drew himself up and said at last... 
“I’m fast, I’m so fast.”

Up on the board, he climbed with a sigh.
It was now a case of do or die.
With his mouth on the cheese, he gave a tug,
The big spring left the locking lug. . .
“I’m. . .”

Well. . . believe it or not, he got away.
It’s true, he lived to see another day.
Some lessons learned, are lessons to heed.
One has to be careful where they feed.
He said, “ouch”.

In your neighborhood is one lucky mouse
You might see him, running through your house.
You will know him...of that I am sure,
He lost his tail at the grocery store.


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Danger lurks in many guises throughout our lifetime. That little mouse probably thinks how close he came to losing more than his tail, but still chuckles about it. I can imagine after that incident he made an effort to show up at a health spa to take off a few ounces.

A similar episode I was faced with in Korea, I still laugh about today. I was one of several radio operators maintaining radio and transmitter equipment, in mobile radio vans. These transmitters directed air traffic control to the front lines for military bombing missions. 

About 2:00AM I received a call from the comm-officer to change our transmitter long wire antennas to a different length, then change the frequency of the transmitter in the radio van.  This meant a walk from an antenna pole to lower the antenna...make my length changes, then walk about 300 feet to another pole, lower the antenna and make similar changes there. 

With carbine and flashlight in hand I made the trek to one pole where I made the changes, then started for the other pole 300 feet away. There was no moonlight, and I didn’t really want to turn my flashlight on. When I walked a reasonable distance in the dark I realized I had no choice, but to check my directional alignment to the next pole.

I turned the light on and the same moment I was falling forward on my face. I felt hair raise on my back and neck and then in nearly the same instance I heard the rattle of glass, metal and whatever else. This told me immediately I strayed off course in my walk. 

Climbing out of the six foot diameter by two foot deep trash pit, I started laughing. It was a nervous laugh at first, then the humor of it all sunk in. I snickered and laughed all the way to the remaining pole where I made my recommended changes.

I kept saying to myself who in hell is going to shoot an some imbecile ambling around in the dark, laughing and snickering to himself, and that would set off another round of laughter. I was never so glad to get back to the radio shack where there was light and time to reflect.


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