JoelJosol Posted October 13, 2018 Share Posted October 13, 2018 When I have walked this long, this far, in my life I was like testing a string attached to mom to see how far the string goes before it breaks and anxiety like a sudden downpour caught me umbrella-less, in a street full of cars, with strangers rushing to find shelter from the rain, and I can't see my mom anywhere, anymore in the crowd, with an empty pocket, not even a centavo of a coin and the tension made me hungry and cold. I have walked farther in this life mommy-less resigned to get wet in the rain for days I am umbrella-less with no space in the sidewalk to find shelter for myself I just have to be wiser not be sucked into some hole without a string to life to keep me from drifting farther and be plucked out from deep waters life-less, umbrella-less. An umbrella once kept a girl alive, or so I heard, because she held on to it while falling into a man-made hole. I should have known better than be umbrella-less. It is the next best thing when everything else, everyone else do not have strings attached. NOTE: Glad to be able to share something after a long while with the workload lighting up a bit. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Joel, this is beautifully worded. You do a wonderful job showing. I love the recurring theme of umbrella-less and how the speaker is honest about his condition, how he perceives it: On 10/12/2018 at 10:14 PM, JoelJosol said: … I should have known better than be umbrella-less. I say perceives it, because as an objective reader with empathy I can see a bigger picture, how this condition might not be entirely (or at all) his fault. I love this poem. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted October 15, 2018 Author Share Posted October 15, 2018 Hi Tony. Thanks for the read and insight. I am glad that you caught the repetition. I like the music of the "l"'s :-) Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 Hi Joel, So happy to see you back. I have always loved how lyrical your poems are even when the anxiety of being out there without any cover. Like Tony I too liked the repetition, it flowed in and out. Nice. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Joel, how nicely expressed. I am really happy to read such a nice poetry tonight. Thank you Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted January 13, 2019 Author Share Posted January 13, 2019 Hi guys, thanks for the read. I am glad that the structure worked. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 like a sudden downpour... in a street full of cars with an empty pocket, not even a centavo of a coin A poet once said there were "no ideas but in things". The imagery helped to carry me away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted January 30, 2019 Author Share Posted January 30, 2019 Thanks dcmarti1 for picking up the imagery. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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