eclipse Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 This dying man hears angels tumbling down like grains in an hour glass, he stares into the circles in the park pond-reflections never settle. Leaves fall from a near by tree like former selves unable to reach the rings inside the tree grain, the last leaf falls like an angel's tongue providing the location for the rope, the park is the bell the pond is the clapper. Fading with the song within a song of a bird his circle is complete as the earth recedes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 There are elements of peace, acceptance, AND maudlin all at the same time. Skillful. I liked the Leaves fall from a near by tree like former selves Evocative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 The leaves' distinction from the tree itself, how they're unable to reach the rings inside the tree/grain is profound and captures my imagination. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Barry, the first two lines are quite an opener. I love that the image has motion. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 Agree with Tony on that startling action and motive of the former selves embodied in the leaves. Here is the highly original observation that shakes the poem. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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