Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

My girl friend is pint-sized


Recommended Posts

A winter's pace, the frost winking,
  my rucksack weighted
with your checklist. I trudge back.

Unbridled, you stride on. Distance
  defines us. At the top
you waving. Me frowning from afar.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First, re the title (the funny). I saw a commercial for a television show, and it went like this: "He's six-foot-three, and she's three-foot-six. Some people might say their relationship is taboo!" They're a married couple, and it shows him carrying her in like a toddler and placing her, seated, on the bar. That's the first thought that entered my head when I saw the title. But on a more serious note, there's a loveliness to the title I can't quite express.

Now, as for the poem, it's a lyrical masterpiece, a lovely read. Don't change a word.



Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rucksack.  😉

"Weighted with your checklist."

What's not to like here?


Link to comment
Share on other sites

David W. Parsley

Badge, I really enjoy the way the title plays like a whimsical grace note on the poem's narrative.  Delightful!  I confess to getting tripped up by "back" at the end of stanza 1 - I know there is an implied antecedent, but I can't come up with a plausible guess.  It does not damage my enjoyment of this poem's vivid simplicity.

 -- Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.