summayya Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Opacity The streetlight is blinking. Its voice the heartbeat of silence. Tink Tung, Tink Tung Moths flutter above and around it. Some hitting it so hard that they make a tug sound. The cricket finds it hard to handle this part of his reign. Subjects it seems have rebelled. This makes him make more noise. Disturbance. A silhouette comes out of the black. It grows into a man as it approaches the streetlight. His face is covered with a panama and raised coat collars. He sits under the light and reaches for the mobile set in his pocket. It hasn’t rung, neither is any call been made. He looks at it curiously and holds it to his ear. “Busy?” “Tomorrow?” “Tomorrow, then.” Putting it back in his pocket carefully he stands up, looks at the blinking light and starts to walk towards the other end of the alley. Darkness awaits him there and snatches at him as he disappears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Hello summayya, What an atmosphere of intrigue and mystery you create here! I love your descriptions of the "moths" hitting the "streetlight" - so realistically captured in sound and effect. The images of this mystery character being swallowed by the darkness will remain on my mind. Who was he contacting? What was it about? Why that particular part of the street? - So many unanswered questions, exercise the little "grey cells"! Your prose style is wonderfully succinct and dense. I enjoyed this very much. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 summayyah, sooooo cool. I wanted more. It read like a prologue of a novel. Intriguing. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Very well written summayya. A lot of imageries especially at the beginning: The streetlight is blinking. Its voice the heartbeat of silence. So strong narrative voice. Keep it. Well done Summ Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summayya Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Thank you guys for reading and appreciating. Much appreciated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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