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Poetry Magnum Opus

A Small Factory


JoelJosol
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Outside the window-

the children watch cars, vans, trucks

fill up lanes with soot;

 

under the floor-

black water, still like stalled automobiles,

their mufflers blowing carbon;

 

in the floor-

black with flies blanketing

a baby lying on the mat;

 

home-

a human factory

in two square meters of black space.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Aleksandra

Hello Joel. This poem has some movement. Somehow brings sad feelings. While reading this poem, I pictured in my mind some poor family who doesn't have enough place to live, maybe in one room.

Sorry if I am out of track.

 

I love this poem, it is wonderful.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Wow, JJ! A brilliant dark, foreboding and stark piece- Not a wasted word. Dickensian in its existential grasp of industrial culture and the human cost.

 

Well. well done!

 

DC

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

Gate(less.png

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Doesn't sound very nice at all, Joel. The scene, that is. The poem itself is quite lyrical.

 

I picture ramshackle shacks clustered together. I like how you juxtapose "outside" and "inside." For the inhabitants, both are, more or less, the same.

 

The poem is compact and packs a punch. I liked the first title, too, but I can see why you might have changed it.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Wow, simply descriptive of a sad state and chilling human environ. Written in such a melancholy and hopeless tone. A moving piece, Joel.

 

--tilsover

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Thanks, Alek, DrC, Tony, and tilsover, for your appreciation. I wanted to write about the social condition without imposing my own reaction on it but to let the reader "see" it for themselves and extend the meaning in their own context.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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