jakecaller Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 Okinawa War thoughts these dark moods follow me as I tour Okinawa where the last battles of world war 11 were fought thousands died in the first and last outpost of the American East Asian Empire Okinawa Beckons me Okinawa Japan kept calling to me in a dream notifying me always in the background where my memories always waiting for me Beckons me everywhere I go cosmic reflections of past lives never seen before seems lost in time maybe just the spirits of the dead everywhere I see ghosts Okinawa Street Scene Walking the streets of Fabled Naha Okinawa a life time dream someday I would visit I am surrounded by ghosts of the past and Japanese beauties all around me tempting me with their sweet smiles Impure thoughts fill my head as they smile at me and I smile at them No wonder so many Soldiers brought back Japanese wives Japanese Coffee Barista watching the Japanese coffee barista preparing my snarling cup of hot boss coffee fills my heart with erotic joy how I wanted to express what was on my mind right then to the Japanese coffee barista Ghosts of Okinawa add to Ghosts Poems - post as separate poems Ghosts of Okinawa Touring the battlefields of Okinawa where so many young men gave up their life so many years ago I see the ghosts all around me feel their spirits floating through the air Kilroy was here there and everywhere whoever that was and John Dean wannabes and Elvis wannabes and so many other wannabes and I see the ghosts of the fallen heroes all around me Signs everywhere in Asia you see strange variations of English Japlish, Konglish, Singlish the street signs in Okinawa are all in Chinese, Japanese, English and Koreans the bus and train announcements as well Hard to get lost even when you want to but the random encounters with English words puts a smile on my face as I drink my “boss coffee” wondering who is the “boss” and why is smoking a pipe? and many years ago I saw on a menu at the old Kimpo Airport Baked Rick and in Korean grocery stores one can find corn flights I look forward to many more years of linguistic confusion as I travel about Asia Dream 1074 Visit to Okinawa Aquarium Whenever I visit an aquarium, zoo or wild life park I am reminded of a prison the prison is filled with animals who amuse us for their food I am sure that the animals hate us humans who are watching them do their animal thing but looking into their eyes the eyes of the sea turtles swimming back and forth in their prison cell in the Okinawa aquarium filled with hatred for the humans who had imprison them and hunt their kind and don’t get me started on the dolphins and killer whales who preform acrobatic feats for their daily meals and the sharks the king of the ocean killers they too if they could they surely would escape their prison cell screaming Death to all humans as they flee back into the ocean’s depths Okinawa West Coast Road Riding down the west coast road of Okinawa echoes of other beach roads fill my head with memories I am reminded of Hawaii and driving along the Oregon coast east coast beach towns as well and Barbados and the Caribbean islands all the roads are lined with tourist resorts beach views and restaurants all very similar yet different and as the beach towns fade away behind us on the bus my memories of all the other beach towns I have visited fade away into my memory hole Okinawa Haiku In Okinawa the warm trade winds blow away the coming winter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 Hi Jake , This small collection of poems is amongst the most interesting of your collections so far. I love them as a collection but I kind of wanted to savor them as individual poem poems too. I hope you don't mind, but they are so much easier to read, tightened on the page. The editor in me couldn't resist. I especially love that you ended the collection with a haiku, so appropriate. ~~Tink 6 hours ago, jakecaller said: Okinawa War thoughts these dark moodsfollow me as I tour Okinawa where the last battles of world war 11 were fought thousands diedin the first and last outpostof the American East Asian Empire ~~~ Okinawa Beckons me Okinawa Japankept calling to mein a dreamnotifying me always in the backgroundwhere my memoriesalways waiting for me Beckons meeverywhere I gocosmic reflectionsof past livesnever seen beforeseems lost in time maybe just the spirits of the dead everywhere I see ghosts ~~~~ Okinawa Street Scene Walking the streetsof Fabled Naha Okinawaa life time dreamsomeday I would visit I am surroundedby ghosts of the past and Japanese beautiesall around me tempting mewith their sweet smiles Impure thoughtsfill my headas they smile at meand I smile at them No wonder so many Soldiersbrought back Japanese wives ~~~ Japanese Coffee Barista watching the Japanesecoffee barista preparing my snarling cup of hot boss coffee fills my heartwith erotic joy how I wanted to expresswhat was on my mind right thento the Japanese coffee barista ~~~ Ghosts of Okinawa (add to Ghosts Poems - post as separate poems ) Touring the battlefields of Okinawa where so many young mengave up their lifeso many years ago I see the ghosts all around mefeel their spiritsfloating through the air Kilroy was herethere and everywherewhoever that was and John Dean wannabesand Elvis wannabes and so many other wannabesand I see the ghosts of the fallen heroesall around me ~~~ Signs everywhere in Asiayou see strange variationsof EnglishJaplish, Konglish, Singlish the street signs in Okinawaare all in Chinese, Japanese, English and Koreansthe bus and train announcements as well Hard to get lost even when you want to but the random encounterswith English wordsputs a smile on my face as I drink my “boss coffee”wondering who is the “boss” and why is smoking a pipe? and many years agoI saw on a menuat the old Kimpo AirportBaked Rick and in Korean grocery storesone can findcorn flights I look forward to many more yearsof linguistic confusionas I travel about Asia ~~~ Dream 1074 Visit to Okinawa Aquarium Whenever I visit an aquarium, zoo or wild life park I am reminded of a prisonthe prison is filled with animalswho amuse us for their food I am sure that the animalshate us humanswho are watching themdo their animal thing but looking into their eyesthe eyes of the sea turtlesswimming back and forth in their prison cell in the Okinawa aquariumfilled with hatred for the humanswho had imprison themand hunt their kind and don’t get me startedon the dolphins and killer whaleswho preform acrobatic featsfor their daily meals and the sharksthe king of the ocean killers they tooif they couldthey surely would escapetheir prison cell screaming Death to all humans as they fleeback into the ocean’s depths ~~~Okinawa Haiku Okinawa West Coast RoadRiding down the west coast roadof Okinawaechoes of other beach roadsfill my head with memories I am reminded of Hawaiiand driving along the Oregon coasteast coast beach towns as well and Barbadosand the Caribbean islands all the roads are lined with tourist resortsbeach views and restaurants all very similaryet differentand as the beach townsfade awaybehind us on the bus my memoriesof all the other beach townsI have visited fade awayinto my memory hole ~~~ In Okinawathe warm trade winds blow awaythe coming winter Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A. Baez Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I'll comment here on the first, main section of poems. It's interesting how these widely varied scenes from Okinawa play off each other and collectively form a complex composite. But I was wanting to hear something more vivid, more specific, in the first part, to bring it to life, rather than just very general reportage skimmed off a history book. The shift from past to present tense in the second part didn't seem particularly warranted, and there seems to be an "are" missing between "memories" and "always." Also, I'm wanting to see a clearer distinction between the third part and the second--in the third, you refer again to the ghosts. Maybe this could be effective if they were presented in a markedly different manner, developing this theme somehow. I did find it emotionally effective how you began with a sweeping dramatic, historical scope and in the end, you narrowed your focus down to a very mundane, personal incident between you and a barista. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I enjoyed these ! A marvelous tapestry of Okinawa images past/present with a longing for future. Liked the way that Tinker presented, since it was easier to read as a page rather than the slow unwinding. Many Thanks, DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 This series was very much to my liking. There's a pleasing mix consisting of an on-going account of the mundane in what (to me) is an exotic location, which seques into insights of the speaker's own state of mind, including his not-farfetched conclusions about things he cannot know e.g. the animals' states of mind. (Although, I personally am with him when it comes to those speculations.) I love the haiku at the end, and how you end the series with the haiku. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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