poetjohncompton Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 my body: a wet temple. exploration goes almost mute, decades pass before someone realizes: beauty in thick form is beauty - is real - is natural. is not bone but coral. is not the puddle drying daily in the sun but ocean hungry & fierce & organic. my body has a multitude of hieroglyphics scratched across its walls: not stretch marks. rub along the soft hairs & feel the curves turn your fingers. press against my lips & become tender. Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A. Baez Posted January 5, 2020 Share Posted January 5, 2020 This poem has a nice flow, a focus and terseness that gives the reader a sense of the poet's control. I was a bit confused by the metaphors is S2 and the hieroglyphics reference in S3. The ending is unexpected and vivid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted January 5, 2020 Share Posted January 5, 2020 Fierce. Actually, FIERCE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 John, this is good work. I like the sense of "what you see is what you get" delivered by this poem. Nice to see you, Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 On 1/4/2020 at 10:41 PM, A. Baez said: This poem has a nice flow, a focus and terseness that gives the reader a sense of the poet's control. I was a bit confused by the metaphors is S2 and the hieroglyphics reference in S3. The ending is unexpected and vivid. thank you very much! glad you found the ending wild and unexpected! the metaphors in line two mean: coral reefs are beautiful. my body is made of them. and I am an ocean, just just the puddle that comes and goes. and the hieroglyphics are meaning that my body does not hold ugly stretch marks but beautiful drawings. Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 On 1/5/2020 at 12:11 PM, dcmarti1 said: Fierce. Actually, FIERCE. thank you grandly! so happy you thought so! Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 On 1/6/2020 at 6:30 PM, tonyv said: John, this is good work. I like the sense of "what you see is what you get" delivered by this poem. Nice to see you, Tony I'm so honored you remembered me. I've been away with life lately. and growing more in my poetry. it's been a ride. glad you enjoyed and glad you're glad to see me hehe Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Yes Mister Poetry! Glad to see you! And love this fleshed construction a piece of real beauty and a wonderful re-claiming. Many Thanks Doc Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A. Baez Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Quote the metaphors in line two mean: coral reefs are beautiful. my body is made of them. and I am an ocean, just just the puddle that comes and goes. and the hieroglyphics are meaning that my body does not hold ugly stretch marks but beautiful drawings. That is what I imagined. I just found these references to be less clear as they might be. Quote beauty in thick form is beauty - is real - is natural. is not bone but coral. is not the puddle drying daily in the sun but ocean hungry & fierce & organic. my body has a multitude of hieroglyphics scratched across its walls: not stretch marks. First of all, your contention is that the body (or at least yours) is beautiful, but one of the components of the body is bone, which you imply is unbeautiful, unlike coral--something that is most definitely not part of the body. Secondly, you then introduce another comparison between two elements, but in this comparison, neither element is found, as such, in the body--a puddle and an ocean. As a reader, I expect to find a direct parallel between your two pairs of allusions, but that is absent here. Finally...what "beautiful drawings" does your skin hold? Assuming that this is a figurative reference (and not a reference to tattoos or doodles), I think its subject needs to be more clear. Otherwise, part of me wonders whether you are simply reimagining your stretch marks as "beautiful drawings." Alternatively (as is apparently the case), you are referring to something else (perhaps other crease marks?) and implicitly rejecting stretch marks as categorically unbeautiful. However, this hypothesis seems to run at odds with the spirit of the rest of your poem, which at least to me suggests a wholehearted, unqualified embrace of not only your body, but human bodies in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 My how you have grown as a poet, as a person. Hard to believe you were that teenager when I first encountered your work, full of undisciplined angst and passion. Now you are a man, comfortable in your skin and exhibit a skilled discipline. Nice work MP. ~~Judi Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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