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Poetry Magnum Opus

Cardiology


JTParreira
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JTParreira

I showed my heart to the doctor,

graphics

trampling the beats of the blood

- the doctor said

that although the tests

not show evidences

was the loneliness,

he showed the danger

I have a greater love

than the age

that I can reach Finally

showed me how it works

is the divine breath.

J.T.Parreira

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An excellent commentary on the 'depth' and the 'surface' of the heart and its life. In this case the language choices felt a little awkward (to me). Normally, your refreshing voice, is perfectly pitched, but this time instances like:

 

not show evidences

 

would have sounded better to my inner ear as: showed no evidence, or did not show evidence- But, that could very well, just be me- The cadence when read outloud, sounded a bit like a slow 'heartbeat,' which could have been your intention;-)

 

Liked it!

 

DC

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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Aleksandra

Very well expressed poem Joao.

 

Nice that you made the capitalization of letter F in Finally . That speaks the special meaning of the word in here.

 

I like this poem.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

a little choppy but other then that i loved the poem. this might be your best one yet that i have read from you. the choppines might be due to the translation of languages. this poem was real and the heartbeat of it was so honest. excellent poem

 

vic

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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I share the sentiment of Larsen.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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