Sunday with Muffins

[dcmarti1]

In a sun-lit library on wicker couches
With Picoult and Sandburg, an aunt
And her nephew read in silence, awaiting
News of her sister-in-law, his widowed mother,
From the quarantined center where a body
Is being repaired, is being strengthened,
Back to a baseline of bed, couch, and chair.
They can but wonder at the thoughts
Of the attended-to, but unvisited, patient:

   Have I been abandoned?
   What did I do?
   Where is the husband I cared for?
   
In a sun-lit library on wicker couches,
They wait for muffins at 400 for 15 minutes.
There's no waiting for the coffee.

[badger11]

The sense of separation and waiting is palpable Marti. This is a locked-in world. And it is disorientating.

all the best

Phil

[dcmarti1]

17 hours ago, badger11 said:

The sense of separation and waiting is palpable Marti. This is a locked-in world. And it is disorientating.

all the best

Phil

I was hoping that sense would come through. I am not sure if I have ever had a subject, other than the speaker, "think".....

Thanks.

[tonyv]

"Locked-in" is working on a couple of levels here. The sense of uneasiness is indeed "palpable." I think the tercet shows a whole lot:

On 3/19/2020 at 2:34 PM, dcmarti1 said:

In a sun-lit library on wicker couches,
They wait for muffins at 400 for 15 minutes.
There's no waiting for the coffee.

There is the waiting, that fifteen minutes that seems like forever, and there are the jitters, the nervousness, the unease, the coffee.

Tony

[dcmarti1]

23 hours ago, tonyv said:

"Locked-in" is working on a couple of levels here. The sense of uneasiness is indeed "palpable." I think the tercet shows a whole lot:

There is the waiting, that fifteen minutes that seems like forever, and there are the jitters, the nervousness, the unease, the coffee.

Tony

Thanks for reading. I am totally transparent to you by now, aren't I?  :)

 

Hope you're safe.

[tonyv]

1 minute ago, dcmarti1 said:

Thanks for reading. I am totally transparent to you by now, aren't I?  🙂

 

Hope you're safe.

I'm completely fine -- thank you, Marti. Hang in there, and we'll get through it. Check in here now and then.

Tony

[A. Baez]

I agree, I think you did a strong job conveying the sense of the experience you describe. I, too, particularly picked up on the power and implications of the last three lines. The poem's rhythm flowed well throughout, despite being irregular. I thought

Quote

Is being repaired, is being strengthened,

could be made more powerful by simply saying

Quote

is being repaired, strengthened,

and though this would shorten the line, I think the effect would be invigorating rather than jarring.

"Sunlit" should not be hyphenated.

Nice title, belying the turmoil that lies behind it. The contrasts of health centers are fascinating!

[Tinker]

Marti you have such a gift.  Your words go right to my heart.   You couldn't capture this isolation, emptiness better.   So many these days languish all alone and the loneliness is also felt by the loved ones who wait with others for the muffins.  This is so good.  Thank you for heart tug.   

~~Judi