Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

when I tell you that I am a sufi


rumisong
 Share

Recommended Posts

when I tell you that I am a sufi

why do you want so badly to believe that its true?

 

when I tell you that Im a mystic

why does your eyebrow raise up?

 

when I tell you that Im a tree

why does your finger begin to reach for a book of names and addresses?

 

when I tell you that I love you

why do you begin searching the attic trunks, to see if there is

something old in there you can let me wear?

 

when I tell you that Im hungry

why does your stomach begin to clench?

 

when I tell you how Im feeling

why do you reach for the radio to turn to a song you like better?

 

when I tell you of years that vanish into cloudforms

why is a brighter light suddenly called for?

 

when I tell you of the closeness of the soil, beneath the foot of a mantis

why does your lower lip tremble from the word "god"?

 

when I tell you I am homeless

why do you feel a sudden need to travel to the sea?

 

when I tell you that one needle from a single norway spruce, is enough to brighten my thoughts

why do you ask me what I do for my living?

 

when I tell you of the song that Ive yet to write

why do you give me tales from your wedding night?

 

when I tell you what the spring breezes were trying to whisper to me

where did you think you would hide?

 

will you meet me now,

that you know what mysteries have poured from the heart?

can you still your cheek, or your eyelids, through one meal

and listen to the sound of the sun crossing the sky?

 

here is where it waits- here is where it was left for you to find

that very day you put the distance of three thousand lifetimes

between us

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Larsen M. Callirhoe

great lines in this and excellent immagery. i absolutely love this. i applaud you rumi.

 

vic

Larsen M. Callirhoe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

great! inspired - and very rumi'esque! beautiful thoughts and images...

To receive love, you have to give it...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This one is comprehensive and leaves no stone unturned. I think it's your "Janitor" prose piece brought to verse. (I'm drawing this conclusion from the discussion which followed the prose piece.)

 

These two "parts of the whole" are my fav's:

when I tell you I am homeless

why do you feel a sudden need to travel to the sea?

 

when I tell you of the song that Ive yet to write

why do you give me tales from your wedding night?

The former inspires me; I can somehow relate to it the most. The latter is unsettling; I would be irritated if that happened.

 

Thank you for this, Rumisong. I enjoyed it a lot.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you guys, very much icon_smile.gif

 

tonyv wrote:

 

I can somehow relate to it the most.

 

if you can find out how, Id love to hear Tony... Id be fascinated by your read of that line especially

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you guys, very much icon_smile.gif

 

tonyv wrote:

 

I can somehow relate to it the most.

 

if you can find out how, Id love to hear Tony... Id be fascinated by your read of that line especially

 

Ah, Rumisong, I think it somehow appeals to my sense of adventure or longing to escape.

 

when I tell you I am homeless

why do you feel a sudden need to travel to the sea?

 

I took "travel to the sea" to mean "on the high seas" as opposed to "going to the shore." (I'm not sure which one you meant, but that's how I read it.) I guess, if one lives and works on a ship, he has a home of sorts (at least while he is at work), and that would probably be better than being homeless on the streets. Perhaps it just invokes a false sense of security within me. But, you know, as they say: a false sense of security better than none!

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ah, thank you so very much- its just what I was asking...

 

yes, the false sense of security is what was there when that line came out- when someone meets someone who is homeless, what is the impulse that rises up in ones gut?

 

to escape, to feel secure, to return "home" as nature itself- the vastness of our "home" seen as the ocean (and a ship on the ocean is perfect for this too)- the need to feel safe in the midst of that vastness...

 

thanks T!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aleksandra

Rumisong I enjoyed reading this abstract poem, what goes in only two ways. It sounds as a dialog but with your own. The sense of this poem is very mystical and it gives a real picture of a dervish, with all those questions and guessing.

 

Very deep and meaningful poem. I loved this one Rumi.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

RS,

 

Really, really good- a nice clear rumi-nation on the nature of self, the self in the relation to the world, and the world in relationship to love, home and back to the self...

 

Very much enjoyed this!!!

 

DC icon_biggrin.png

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

Gate(less.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi rumisong, This is inspired and inspiring. So many images that took my mind to other places.

 

Of them all my single favorite line is

 

rumisong wrote:

 

when I tell you that one needle from a single norway spruce, is enough to brighten my thoughts

 

On reading this my spirit took flight. Thank you.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The title caught my attention and the poem held it.

 

when I tell you that Im a tree

why does your finger begin to reach for a book of names and addresses?

 

That made me smile, despite the underlying sense of desperation and distance in understanding.

 

badge :0)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my goodness! Thank you SO much all! Im utterly delighted that this has touched you!

 

Alexsandra- yes I love the way youve put this- 'a two way dialogue with oneself' - perfect!

 

Tink- "take flight" now has to make its way into whatever poem arrives next icon_wink.gif (my heart is soaring reading everyones comments, believe me!)

 

Dr C- "the self in the relation to the world, and the world in relationship to love, home and back to the self" poetry that describes this poem, thank you!

 

Badge- yes, and underlying sense of desperation was here when it arrived - great catch! (going through some loss currently, Ill try to say more about it later perhaps) and that particular line was in reference to someone listening to a poet speaking of his relationship to nature, ("I AM a tree") and reaching for the addressbook in his or her blackberry or cell phone to call for "professional help", so to speak (thats why I saw a "finger" reaching for the names- as in a digital keypad)

 

there are a few lines, which Im still not sure what they were trying to say icon_smile.gif

 

cheers everyone- and thanks for making my day!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi rumisong,,

 

I liked the repetition used here, which drives the movement of emotion in the poem.

 

Very well written.

 

Lake

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.