Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 How I Look At Life You put my head under water. They tell me to breathe easier for awhile. It is hard to breathe under water even I know that. Many times I wanted you your flesh naked while taking a cold shower. Flowers in a vase on the kitchen table. Darling I forgive you after all it is hard to be alone in this crazy mixed up world. I want you to see me as I am. After all I should know. I am a twisted mind from years of being paralyzed. My mind is warped life for me is not high and dry and clean cut as you think. I have skeletons in the closet. But not enough ghosts to scare you dear. Just know there is no baggage with me. I want to write you a love poem. Can’t you see I love you. We dreamed of all the good things we could do. Those were the days my friend, yes those were the days. Remember how we use to share all the laughter. Now the years have passed us by. What have we done with our life’s. The years have gone by in turmoil. We shared laughter together and yes even the tears. I want to stay in love with your soul. Come to bed with me. I don’t want to sleep alone tonight. Don’t hide from me. No more games in the dark. I don’t want to forget how it feels. To walk upon the grass and feel the sand on my toes on a sandy beach. We share the sunrise together hand in hand. Will you share the sunset with me. I want you to walk with me in this life or will we fade into the darkness cold and all alone. Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Well done Vic. a brilliant 'walk' through your own life and love- I really like, this 'leap' you've made in your recent writings, a little more distant, which ironically makes it more universally intimate--- Enjoyed! DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Hi DC, i have been trying to improve my writing style in my poetry especially free verse which can be hard for the reader to understand or relate to. i use the simple aabbb aabb or abab cdcd pattern but i have been told i force it so i stick to what i am decent at which is free verse. i have been reading tinker's post on this forum about verse poetry and i think it has helped improved my writings greatly, swo thanks for commenting. larsen Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Dear Victor. I love the sentiment in this poem. I can feel the magic in this poem. And also I found here two poems in one. If I was the writer on this poem, this part I would leave alone and finish one poem: How I Look At Life You put my head under water. They tell me to breathe easier for awhile. It is hard to breathe under water even I know that. Many times I wanted you your flesh naked while taking a cold shower. Flowers in a vase on the kitchen table. Darling I forgive you after all it is hard to be alone in this crazy mixed up world. I want you to see me as I am. After all I should know. I am a twisted mind from years of being paralyzed. My mind is warped life for me is not high and dry and clean cut as you think. I have skeletons in the closet. But not enough ghosts to scare you dear. Just know there is no baggage with me. I want to write you a love poem. Can’t you see I love you. I like the rest of the poem too. But the first part worked more powerful on me. I love the expression: I have skeletons in the closet. I enjoyed the poem a lot my friend. I like that you are in some inspired period. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I agree with the others, Victor. I've always enjoyed your knack for keeping it real; it's a skill which you seem to have honed lately. I would characterize the development of your style as "progressive." Happy birthday, btw. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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