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Self Portrait: The Knock

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4/26/20 Self Portrait: The Knock

Growing up with a shared
divide first Grandfather
then Littlebrother
learned there
is always a
room next
door and

When knocking
on the walls
of the Universe
must hear the rhythm
as it is
not as i
want it
to be.

 

Edited by dr_con
added an 'I' by request
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thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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14 hours ago, Tinker said:

if it was deliberate, it shouldn't be

It was but the rhythm in my head did not transfer to you;-) so readded  the i. take a look;-)

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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Yep,  sometimes our experiments just don't translate to the reader.  Most often yours do, that is why I questioned whether it was just a typo or deliberate.  For me, that "I" makes a huge difference in the rhythm and meaning.

~~Judi

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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How interesting to explore the theme of separations and passings through them on the small and large scale, and the psychological implications thereof. Fine poetic material.

For me, confusion arose at "shared divide." Is "divide" a term for some kind of multi-room dwelling?

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