Self Portrait: The Knock

[dr_con]

4/26/20 Self Portrait: The Knock

Growing up with a shared
divide first Grandfather
then Littlebrother
learned there
is always a
room next
door and

When knocking
on the walls
of the Universe
must hear the rhythm
as it is
not as i
want it
to be.
 

Edited April 27, 2020 by dr_con
added an 'I' by request

[Tinker]

Juris, You often take short cuts or abbreviate but I am unsure if in the last 3 lines you left out a crucial word, if it was deliberate, it shouldn't be. It feels unfinished.  You had me right up until that point.  

~~Judi

[dr_con]

14 hours ago, Tinker said:

if it was deliberate, it shouldn't be

It was but the rhythm in my head did not transfer to you;-) so readded  the i. take a look;-)

[Tinker]

Yep,  sometimes our experiments just don't translate to the reader.  Most often yours do, that is why I questioned whether it was just a typo or deliberate.  For me, that "I" makes a huge difference in the rhythm and meaning.

~~Judi

[dr_con]

Excellent! TY Judi

[A. Baez]

How interesting to explore the theme of separations and passings through them on the small and large scale, and the psychological implications thereof. Fine poetic material.

For me, confusion arose at "shared divide." Is "divide" a term for some kind of multi-room dwelling?