tonyv Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 At Jacky's1 My sweetest love, I will stand still for you! Now, you -- here, next to me -- out on the path, then at the Galaxie, our two long straws submerging into a ceramic bowl. Sushi, an arachnid's sting, and families. Then, you -- in front of me -- with the light low and the room spinning, no place else to go, nowhere I would rather go, just you. 1. Jacky's Galaxie: an Asian/fusion restaurant 1 Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 Jacky’s should pay you for permission to put this in an ad or on their menu. This is really good. 2 hours ago, tonyv said: Then, you -- in front of me -- with the light low and the room spinning, no place else to go, nowhere I would rather go, just you. Who knew you were such a romantic? ~~Judi 1 1 Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 Second Tinker this is really really good like being there;-) 1 Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 27, 2020 Author Share Posted April 27, 2020 Judi & Juris, thank you both very much. I know it's my poetry month submittal for the past ten days, but this one was start to finish yesterday in less than an hour. For that little time, it's the best I could do. Tony 1 Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 39 minutes ago, tonyv said: but this one was start to finish yesterday in less than an hour. For that little time, it's the best I could do. Tony Then you have no excuses..... Where are the rest of the poems? You owe us 9. 😍 ~~Judi 1 1 Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 27, 2020 Author Share Posted April 27, 2020 Just now, Tinker said: You owe us 9. Too funny, Judi! Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A. Baez Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 Quote our two long straws submerging into a ceramic bowl. There's something really awesome about this line! Vaguely humorous and entirely visceral, in-the-moment. Quote Sushi, an archnid's sting, and families. Hmm, an interesting and mysterious trio. I think you meant "arachnid"? "Bowl/low/go" works well, a sprinkling of rhyme like pepper on a meal. Quote and the room spinning, no place else to go, nowhere I would rather go, just you. Mmm, I can only wonder what makes the room spin--a delightful drink, some fancy lighting, the drunkenness of love, or some potent cocktail thereof! Quote nowhere I would rather go, just you. I like the idea of a person being framed as a destination. Finally, you've widened your orbit out of the Waterside Lounge--nice to see! I think Jacky's brings out your civility. 😉 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 28, 2020 Author Share Posted April 28, 2020 1 minute ago, A. Baez said: Hmm, an interesting and mysterious trio. I think you meant "arachnid"? Thank you! It's a typo, and I fixed it. But it's not so mysterious if you've ever shared a Scorpion Bowl. 🧉 (Scorpions aren't spiders, but they are arachnids!) 4 minutes ago, A. Baez said: Mmm, I can only wonder what makes the room spin--a delightful drink, some fancy lighting, the drunkenness of love, or some potent cocktail thereof! Any and all of it. 5 minutes ago, A. Baez said: I like the idea of a person being framed as a destination. I like how you've characterized it. 7 minutes ago, A. Baez said: Finally, you've widened your orbit out of the Waterside Lounge--nice to see! I think Jacky's brings out your civility. 😉 What had you said some time back, something about contradictions? 😏 Thank you very much for your kind remarks, Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A. Baez Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 Quote ...it's not so mysterious if you've ever shared a Scorpion Bowl. 🧉 I looked up a recipe--no scorpions! 😲 Quote What had you said some time back, something about contradictions? 😏 Dr. Jekyll is on the ascendant!! Cherish the moment. 🎆 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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