eclipse Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 Iceland's winter ghosts pass through Needles eye after creating mask to Release the primal cry persuading the Sun the sullen king to silence his arthritic flames until Iceland is Stroked by the sound of a single flame. Autumn seeks a carving of his face From a watchtower, summer sculpts A clock from ice, spring can hear the Melting hours. The breath of the Weaver At midnight, wind on the water, moon Pulling the tides, the power of song move's the weavers tongue as she weaves. The sky is like a statue unable To sing, the clouds it's song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 23 hours ago, eclipse said: Iceland's winter ghosts pass through Needles eye after creating mask to Release the primal cry persuading the Sun the sullen king to silence his arthritic flames until Iceland is Stroked by the sound of a single flame. Autumn seeks a carving of his face From a watchtower, summer sculpts A clock from ice, spring can hear the Melting hours. The breath of the Weaver At midnight, wind on the water, moon Pulling the tides, the power of song move's the weavers tongue as she weaves. The sky is like a statue unable To sing, the clouds it's song. Hi Barry, Imagery as usual is stellar. Minor note, you misspelled "arthritic". I have to wonder at your line break choices. I took the liberty of rearranging your lines in order to look more closely at this piece of writing. I see a lot of rhyme and it makes me wonder how you develop your work. Do you write it out with the end rhyme first then rearrange your lines to obscure it? This new style of a fist with extended fingers doesn't enhance your content in my opinion. It not only hides the rhyme it also sometimes hides the imagery. As always, use what your find helpful, ignore the rest. I love this particular piece of imagery. ~~Tink 23 hours ago, eclipse said: Autumn seeks a carving of his face From a watchtower, summer sculpts A clock from ice, spring can hear the Melting hours. ~~Judi 1 Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Barry, the imagery in this one reminds me of a movie I enjoyed called "The Last Winter," which took place near the Arctic Circle in Alaska. That one featured the wendigo. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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