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goldenlangur
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goldenlangur

we

hold hands and smile

old photograph

I wipe the frame

hold our moment for a while

 

 

 

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Brilliant! Short, simple, and yet incredible nostalgic depth. A pure emotive nibble!

 

Well done GL

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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I like how the poem's first three lines conjure certain expectations for the reader. Then, the concluding lines give rise to an entirely different actuality. He begins to contemplate a myriad of possibilities ...

 

Wonderful to see you again, GL.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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...to say anything more would be a detraction.

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Frank E Gibbard

Minalism and a taste of the East I feel, a winning combination. Welcome return Golden one. Frank

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How nice to see Golden back with such a touching tanka! I like the turn in the second part and the placement of one word "we" in L1. No more words as waxwings commented.

 

Best wishes!

 

Lake

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we

hold hands and smile

old photograph

I wipe the frame

hold our moment for a while

 

goldenlangur

 

Clever the way the poem is centred around the 'old photograph'. Form melded with content. I agree with the effective focus on the 'we', reinforces the separation and isolation of 'I'. Even in its brevity the poem has a journey.

 

The choice of 'wipe' rather than dust? Keeping clean and clear so the memory does not diminish? And yet the reference is to the frame and not the glass? Or is this an act of wiping the frame, while being distracted by the photo?

 

The familiar notion of the photograph capturing a moment is refreshed as you cherish that moment. The word 'while' has no time cut-off, which is how living in a moment should be!

 

Thoughtful and crafted write gl. You do not distance the reader, but allow them to share the gentle emotions of this poem.

 

badge :0)

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Aleksandra

Yes you have been missed with a reason, as someone said before me.

I love this tanka of yours GL. As always, very tide and compact, with amazing ending line, what gives a life to another tanka which may come after this one in the same spirit and sense.

 

I adore this one.

 

Welcome back my friend. It's a pleasure to see you back.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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goldenlangur

Hello Dc, Tony, rg, Tink, waxwings, Frank, Lake, badge and Alexsandra,

 

Thank you so much for reading this tanka and your considered comments.

 

 

 

 

I appreciate this very much.

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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