JTParreira Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 We wait to cross the crowd on the beach, we cross arms photographic legs, breasts raised for the fire of the beauty we pass over sand castles, and the air does not support our body we fall into the sea soon we will walk across the Atlantic. (To Billy Collins) J.T.Parreira Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 This poem has an otherworldy feel, especially at the end: ... the airdoes not support our body we fall into the sea soon we will walk across the Atlantic. I like how you use punctuation within the lines, and how the linebreaks themselves serve as punctuation, where necessary. Well done. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Yes that what Tony noted I agree at all. I noticed the same thing and it is well done. I love it how fast goes this poem. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waxwings Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Funny how you have overridden my preferences for a different type of line break. Too bad there is no way I can out this in a special record of those poems that I could wish to be available for instant hearing as I go through my oh so too ordinary a day. Great write! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 We wait to cross the crowdon the beach, we cross arms photographic legs, breasts raised for the fire of the beauty we pass over sand castles, and the air does not support our body we fall into the sea soon we will walk across the Atlantic. (To Billy Collins) J.T.Parreira JT this reminds me of how compact and yet evocative your writes were. I hope to read some new material soon! badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RHommel Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 We wait to cross the crowdon the beach, we cross arms photographic legs, breasts raised for the fire of the beauty we pass over sand castles, and the air does not support our body we fall into the sea soon we will walk across the Atlantic. (To Billy Collins) J.T.Parreira Yes, yes! What Tony said... most certainly. A classic vacation photo is now pinned in my mind with such elegance. I especially like... oh nevermind, I especially like all of it and cannot choose one line over the other. ~Rachel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 JT this reminds me of how compact and yet evocative your writes were. I hope to read some new material soon! badge I'm sorry to report that JT Parreira (along with pawn shop and three or four others) never logged in to the old board to receive their invitation pm's to this board; they're still in my out box there. I'll see if we can reach a few of them by email. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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