badger11 Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 revision This gaudy thing bobbing in burlesque offers a bawdy dance and even mimes some teasing slapstick fun. Her tinsel dreams of screen star fame faded with the talkies because her country accent was never posh. She strips without a blush. Hears the applause. I light a cigar for images say it best like a hard slap and through the fug breathe in my cunning schemes. I applaud my craft. original This gaudy thing bobbing in burlesque offers a bawdy dance and even mimes some teasing slapstick fun. Her tinsel dreams of screen star fame faded with the talkies because a Brummie accent was never posh. She strips without a blush. Hears the applause. I light a cigar for images say it best like a hard slap and through the fug breathe in my cunning schemes. I applaud my craft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 On 7/11/2020 at 2:50 AM, badger11 said: This gaudy thing bobbing in burlesque offers a bawdy dance and even mimes some teasing slapstick fun. Her tinsel dreams of screen star fame faded with the talkies because a Brummie accent was never posh. She strips without a blush. Hears the applause. I light a cigar for images say it best like a hard slap and through the fug breathe in my cunning schemes. I applaud my craft. This is great work, Phil. It's very much to my taste. You do a terrific job "showing" and even seem to say so in L7 -- "I light a cigar for images say it best" -- and "fug" is a great choice, a word I've never seen before. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 Quote -- and "fug" is a great choice, a word I've never seen before. Pleased you liked that word Tony. I'm attracted by little words that deliver meaning and sonics rather than latinate polysyllables. I've tweaked the title. cheers Phil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted July 15, 2020 Share Posted July 15, 2020 Nice one Badge, of course I had to google a Brummie accent and thanks for "fug", can't wait to use it. You paint a clear picture here despite the fog of smoke. I liked it a lot. ~~Judi Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 16, 2020 Author Share Posted July 16, 2020 Thank you Judi. It's good of you to research some of the vernacular. all the best Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 This is a stunning piece Phil. It evokes a time and place transporting it into the present. A very Time Traveling proficient poem. Love it! Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted August 8, 2020 Author Share Posted August 8, 2020 Thank you very much Juris and good luck with your new project (I'm still pondering your latest poem!) best Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Phil, you are describing a striptease in some smoke-filled club, right? What a nice way to describe such mundane slice of life. I like the phrase "bobbing in burlesque". But I missed the part about the "craft". Was it referring to a painting or other artwork? Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted August 27, 2020 Author Share Posted August 27, 2020 Quote But I missed the part about the "craft". Was it referring to a painting or other artwork? Thank you Joel. I was referencing the craft of manipulation. all the best Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 Yeah, I felt a distinct urge to punch that cigar right down the smug narrator's throat... lol. Good one, Phil. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted January 9, 2021 Author Share Posted January 9, 2021 😮 🙃 the last time I punched someone I was in primary school! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 Well, have to admit, I am pretty good at not acting on such urges. Luckily I don't encounter very many exploiters or bullies in my every-day life! 😉😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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