Alemeye Gammo Posted August 18, 2020 Share Posted August 18, 2020 And, always after the summer, in an autumn bidens macroptera blooms here and there Cisticolas and allies come to excursion I don’t know where they all where children are gamboling, bees sucking a flower everybody had passed the last year and it is obsoleted melancholies, despair, failure, haggling, all were in the old year the future is unknown but hope is filled in us to change the world Everything is not new here, the night and the day were not alone I were, the one, who had been with those taken by departure nothing an additional to expect, I saw this night’s moon, today’s sun generation is a continual process, I am now as a changeover my Dad replaced me, I am his descendant, and I will bring the other the earth, giving its seeds,the azure is to give the rain and has a cloud I considered and counted my age,it is running on the fixed global nature the future is unknown but hope is filled in us to change the world The next is another, I am the current epoch endeavor of a human the old was as the new, it had many successes and gave to the future kindness,love,compassion,all this tried to avoid an abomination the hate, grievance, opposition, the virus of politics were created a war destruction, death,famine, racial attacks, new pandemic and despair all were the surplus of the old counted years, begun in the elapsed you see the challenges; building was tough from damaging the matter the future is unknown but hope is filled in us to change the world Yes I, I accepted myself, the period itself allowed me to reach hear the cycle of time is as it was, as I experienced, it is still lasted there for,it is better to keep me alive with my hope if I have an endeavor the future is unknown but hope is filled in us to change the world Alemeye Gammo, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia August 12, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 Hi Alemeye, When you connect your poem to an old French form, I can't help myself from comparing the elements. This is an interesting loosening of the meter and rhyme scheme for the Ballade. Normally there are only 3 rhymes in the whole poem which is one reason why the form is so difficult to write in English. The lines are usually either 8 syllables or 10 syllables each, whatever the choice the lines should be the same length. The 3 octaves followed by a quatrain with the last line of each a refrain does fit the form. I particularly liked the imagery of the last octave. ~~Tinker Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alemeye Gammo Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 Thank you dear Tinker. Your feed back is very important 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 4, 2020 Share Posted September 4, 2020 I like your writing style very much, Alemeye Gammo. This one has a detached feel I can appreciate, because I see myself as a bit detached. It has a hopefulness I can take seriously, because the poem is not over-the-top melodramatic. I love the title. It's all good, but this line especially stands out: On 8/18/2020 at 2:05 AM, Alemeye Gammo said: ... I am now as a changeover my Dad replaced me, I am his descendant .. Excellent work! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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