You

[tonyv]

                You 

Thirteen-eight° up on the pole
where birds fly by from wire to wire,
and you are up there, higher math,
while I am down here, high on crack
I mainline smack. Don’t need a dust-
mask, need a hockey helmet. Birds fly by.
_____________
° 13,800 volts, a common voltage on the pole

[badger11]

hi Tony

A poem playing with distances, destructive behaviours and serrated intensities of uneven relationships. Or perhaps I'm filtering my own baggage on this one😀 and the poem is more being grounded and flying high (without/with substance abuse). Either way love the thirteen eight opening note.

will ponder

Phil

 

[tonyv]

On 9/30/2020 at 1:34 PM, badger11 said:

hi Tony

A poem playing with distances, destructive behaviours and serrated intensities of uneven relationships. Or perhaps I'm filtering my own baggage on this one😀 and the poem is more being grounded and flying high (without/with substance abuse). Either way love the thirteen eight opening note.

will ponder

Phil

 

Thank you, Phil! And I would suggest it's a poem that focuses on contrasts between the "you" and the "I."

Tony

[JoelJosol]

I like the contrast presented in parallelism, "up there higher math" and "down here high on crack". 

I also love the intended alliteration of h's and r's and the sound of "ah" across the line. 

I enjoyed the images associated with "smack" and "hockey helmet".

[dr_con]

Lovely juxtapositions. A real treat, stumbled on hokey helmet, not sure why? 😉

 

Lovely Tony!

 

J 

[tonyv]

Thank you, Joel, for your kind reply.

On 10/4/2020 at 12:45 AM, JoelJosol said:

I enjoyed the images associated with "smack" and "hockey helmet".

Good one! I didn't catch that.

Tony

[tonyv]

On 10/4/2020 at 2:20 PM, dr_con said:

Lovely juxtapositions. A real treat, stumbled on hokey helmet, not sure why? 😉

 

Lovely Tony!

 

J 

Thank you, Juris! It's not my magnum opus, but we'll let it ride on PMO!

Tony 😀

[tonyv]

Messing around with an alternate version. This one has punctuation.

 

           You 

Thirteen-eight up on the pole
where birds fly by from wire to wire,
and you are up there, higher math,
while I am down here high on crack
(I mainline smack). Don’t need a dust-
mask, need a hockey helmet. Birds fly by.

[A. Baez]

Better, more intelligible.

Has anyone guessed that this poem is about me? 😂 I didn't!

[tonyv]

21 hours ago, A. Baez said:

Better, more intelligible.

I thought you had said that intelligible was overrated? 😏 Anyway, thanks for bumping this; I had forgotten there were things I wanted to do with it: I wanted to post the revised (i.e. punctuated) version in the first post and add the poem to my Member Archive topic.

21 hours ago, A. Baez said:

Has anyone guessed that this poem is about me? 😂 I didn't!

Well, that's because you know that I'm always praising you wherever I post, that I worship the ground you garden. 🛐 You're just so used to it that you didn't see it! 

[A. Baez]

Quote

I thought you had said that intelligible was overrated?

I thought that was you. 😀

Quote

Anyway, thanks for bumping this; I had forgotten there were things I wanted to do with it: I wanted to post the revised (i.e. punctuated) version in the first post and add the poem to my Member Archive topic.

Good! Which category will it wind up in? Or have you taken my advice and eliminated those categories?

Quote

I worship the ground you garden. 🛐

Aww, that's sweet. You know, you worship a lot of ground, then! ☺️

Quote

You're just so used to it that you didn't see it!

I think it has more to do with the fact that I never conceived of being represented as "higher math" perched on an electrical wire--nor do I ("Coast" aside) readily imagine you as a crackhead! 🤪 I do like the electrical reference in this poem and think that electricity could be a compelling source of inspiration and material for future poems of yours, since you're intimately familiar with this subject and it adds a touch of special color.

[A. Baez]

I repeat,

Quote

Good! Which category will it wind up in? Or have you taken my advice and eliminated those categories?

 

[tonyv]

It's already in my Member Archive Topic. I'm still pondering it's "permanent position" therein. 😀

 

[David W. Parsley]

Hi Tony, Call me a whack-head, but I saw the hockey helmet as necessitated by the buzz of bird activity overhead. (Stop looking up!) 😁

The forum is definitely enriched by participation of the garden lady.  But I suspect you are going elsewhere with the comingling birds, electricity, and "you" with the higher math.  I confess to a temptation to subjecting the stanza to functional analysis for a constrained optimization problem, but that will have to wait for a rainy day. 😉

Enjoyed,
- David

[tonyv]

Thank you David (belatedly), for your kind reply. I like how you've speculated that there could be more to this poem -- I love when the thoughtful reader entertains possibilities of more -- but this one is only what's there. The birds, like the "you," are unfazed by the potential available at those wires, high up on the pole. The electricity represents the higher math and "you." The birds are not the higher math, because they obviously do not understand any of it, but they are like the higher math, and by design, they are not hurt by the high voltage; they just safely, and seemingly with ease, go about their business. And there am I, down low, where I can't get hurt, except when I'm banging my head against the wall.

Tony