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Poetry Magnum Opus



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I watched fire masquerading as ice on river waters, as the moon cried mountains, leaves twitched like the wings of dreaming angels as the wind horse passed over trees. Heard the river whisper about a shivering Sphinx's desire to change form.
The wind horse carried me through forests, across mountains until I heard the vexed sun yearning for a new home away from this ravaged earth, Sinann's rebirth was revealed, on whose breath I had been riding.

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I searched Sinann and found only a reference to the River Shannon. On the up-side, one of the first results Bing returned was "Sinann" right here at PMO.

As is often the case with your works, the poem seems to span continents with its reference to the River Shannon (Europe), the Sphinx (Africa), and the "wind horse" (North America). I enjoyed the saga.




Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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  • 1 month later...
David W. Parsley

Hi Barry, I echo Tony's comments.  Having unearthed the root of the goddess Sinann, I find myself wishing our local French Symbolist had developed the metaphor more fully, evoking the river and the well, the hazel trees, and perhaps a wee bit more of ol' Ireland and a richer mythic context.  Yes, you may consider that a challenge.  While you are at it (optimism at work here!), please strengthen that ending, even if it is not the ending for the revision (yes, that is a suggestion ;-).

I think there is a lot more poem to make here.  And you are the poet to do it.  As Tony points out, you have rather virgin territory to travelogue here.  Make it yours!

Thanks for What Is Already Here,
 - David  

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