eclipse Posted December 30, 2020 Share Posted December 30, 2020 Two storms on different seas, candle of angels between them, twin flames, dance between consciences in conflict. The advance of second Incarnation, sage navigates collapsed suns that are like driftwood, his subjects contemplate fear, revolution, like a sphinx being offered a drink from two different sources. Waves are like fingers aching for contact with a cross, storms on land messiahs blood in a different form. Crown born cry emanates from a dreaming mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 Your poem is a collage of images, and full of associations while at the same time not losing the sound and rhythm of its music. Storms, blood, conflict, fear and cry all paint powerful emotion words that represent to me as reader, turmoil. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 Hi Barry, I like the possibilities of this piece, but it feels unfinished. A different take on the recurring theme of a Second Coming, a la WBY. Might I suggest the "waves" simile opening the last paragraph would move the poem with truer force if it were made a personification? Thanks, - David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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