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Poetry Magnum Opus

Beauty


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I  recieved prayers from angels about the beauty that breathed on a heavenly lake that transcended their own loveliness, in summer they summoned winter who helped me create a carving of my love in ice, it made the moon cry, I caught the tears, they froze in the chalice with your face on heaven's lake, grace preserved for eternity.
 

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David W. Parsley

Almost unbearably beautiful imagery, Barry.  Definitely could use a spell-check and some other crafting.  Even French Symbolism is more successful when strung along stretches of coherency.  For example, the fifth sentence/fragment leaves one wondering if the chalice is on heaven's lake, or if the lake is imaged in the chalice. 

"it made the moon cry" is too prosaic a phrase in this short piece IMHO.  There is more interest to be asked of a poet possessed of these gifts.

Best,
- David

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