eclipse Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 I recieved prayers from angels about the beauty that breathed on a heavenly lake that transcended their own loveliness, in summer they summoned winter who helped me create a carving of my love in ice, it made the moon cry, I caught the tears, they froze in the chalice with your face on heaven's lake, grace preserved for eternity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted March 12, 2021 Share Posted March 12, 2021 Almost unbearably beautiful imagery, Barry. Definitely could use a spell-check and some other crafting. Even French Symbolism is more successful when strung along stretches of coherency. For example, the fifth sentence/fragment leaves one wondering if the chalice is on heaven's lake, or if the lake is imaged in the chalice. "it made the moon cry" is too prosaic a phrase in this short piece IMHO. There is more interest to be asked of a poet possessed of these gifts. Best, - David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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