Soldier

[eclipse]

How far is the
God of war from being
Mortal, I to being
Divine, can I make real
Miracles rehearsed. How
Close are graves
Of war to heaven and
The angel to it's 
Shadow that falls across
The watchtower that
Dreams about
Being blind.The ghosts
Of war are land locked.
 

[dcmarti1]

"and
The angel to it's 
Shadow that falls across
The watchtower"

Not just wordmagic, but cinemagic: I can SEE this from the poem.

[tonyv]

On 6/7/2021 at 12:18 AM, eclipse said:

... The ghosts
Of war are land locked ...

I've lived close to some coast my entire life and can't imagine being landlocked. Nice, provocative work.

Tony

[David W. Parsley]

Hi Barry, I like the final line, too. Just not here.  Not this way.

The poem is startling and brilliant in its observations, its originality of expression and thought.  Its development through seemingly simple diction and exquisite breakage of lines borders on something that feels like the wand of epiphany.  I can't praise it enough.  I love the shaping of questions that alternately feel quixotic, paradoxical, or rhetorical, and yet with no validating question mark - somehow each sequence proclaims itself a statement, not a question.  This piece excites some tuning fork in me that I didn't even know I have.

But I can't escape the feeling that the Poet has completed this transcendent disclosure prior to the final sentence.  Or, better, that the Poet has not yet completed the experience, that there is perhaps another mind-blowing sentence brilliant enough to match the first two.  That this final observation is supposed to be posed as one in yet another sequence of those ineluctable questions (why!) that formed the prior expositions.

Thank You (I think!),
 - David