eclipse Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 I could hear the Earth singing when I was in my mother's womb, Angels danced on Her stomach. I was Taught to Sing and play, I dreamt About ice sculptures Caroling about their Mortality, winds with Amnesia made no Sound. Is the sun The music box Of a remote deity reflecting About completing an Unfinished earth. Incantations were left For me to find, winter's Deputies whistled through Watchtower windows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 Reflecting about "completing an unfinished earth." That's simply wonderful and, for me, even liturgical. Nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 8, 2021 Share Posted July 8, 2021 Barry, this is excellent, one of your best. My favorite parts are the mention of the ice sculptures "caroling about their mentality," and most of all, the "winds with amnesia" that have forgotten to make a noise. I wonder if the sun might be better compared to a lens, a telescope of sorts. It might be more appropriate than the music box. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 Add me to the list of admirers for this one, Barry. I agree that this is one of your best. Nary a misstep, from this reader's viewpoint. I even like the music-box sun, as being more startling, more in consonance with the poem's sonic themes than some other possible choices, a source of music in the deity's creation, yet set to that deity's pre-expectations. Which begs the old question going back to Materialist philosophies as recent as Logical Positivism and as ancient as Lucretius and Aristotle's Prime Mover. I think Bergson and other thinker's would question this model, as well, but it is within the poet's purview to ask! The only thing I wonder, is if it could be made even more terrific by returning to the persona that initiated all this melody and counterpoint. What does he have to say about French Symbolist romp and the music he was conceived and born to? Very, very nice! - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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