goldenlangur Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 dreams - under your avocado tree you and I sit before I forget you’ve died will you talk to me? goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 dreams -under your avocado tree you and I sit before I forget you’ve died will you talk to me? goldenlangur Goldenlangur, I adore this short poem. It is amazing. Deep and emotional. And so clever question, before becomes late for anything... Wonderful expressed. And wonderful imagery. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 I like how this starts out with a recognition of the dream-like state. It then shifts logically into otherworldliness. I wonder if you meant to say "remember you've died" rather than "forget you've died"? But either way works for me: something in this poem tells me the narrator will never forget. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 " before its too late " Hi Aleksandra, You read well that sense that it may dissipate before one can grasp it. ... question, before becomes late for anything... Aleksandra Thank-you very much for a great response. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 'remember' Hi Tony, You're quite spot on - I began with 'remember' and then changed to 'forget' to get a sense of clinging on and then a shift from dream to reality. Certainly never to forget, you observe so perceptively. Thank-you very much, goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Haunting......but not with a personal regret.....no, not that.......I sense more of a pleasant recollection of something that was too intoxicating for you to 'forget'. Ah, poetry ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Hi gl, I love reading your work. It carries a simple clarity that I never get tired of experiencing. Reading this poem, I was struck by the order of the images.... dreams --- you set the tone under your avacado tree -- your settings always have a uniqueness you and I sit --- simply stated the who without complication before I forget you've died --- the surprise - a need to hold on to reality will you talk to me? --- the twist, the need to hold on to the dream So well done, memorable. I read this poem 3 times, then began my comment, I wrote the entire poem, line for line with small comments from memory... that is how impressive it was. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 Thank you pawn shop for your thoughts here. Yes, poetry is something to remember and enjoy! goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 How rewarding! Hi Tink, How rewarding your detailed review! I appreciate very much how you've looked at the images and the way they link together in this piece. Your perception and the consideration with which you have analyzed this piece are indeed gratifying. Thank you so much. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.