Afghanistan

[eclipse]

The dancer watching
Interrupts the
Partners blindfolded dance
With heaven.
Flames swap candles 
To anticipate
The extinction of the fire
Opposite.
Which falconer does
The falcon dream 
About.
Blind man sits on a mountain
Of keys.
A melody of dreams plays between echoes of the
Moon swimming
In heavens birthing pools.
School of tears
Hidden in Afghan rivers,
Lakes, allies 
From Iraq, Pakistan,
Run with widening
Reflections from divine
Waters, action is born
Out of expanding 
Covenants that intermingle,
Binding incantations.
 

[tonyv]

A surprisingly idyllic glimpse into an area of the world that rarely comes to mind as such. The imagery is reminiscent of the American southwest. Which falconer does/The falcon dream /About gives the poem an otherworldly ambience.

Tony

[Tinker]

Hey Barry,  As usual, your imagery is amazing.   I loved the poem and read it over and over BUT as hard as I tried,  I couldn't connect it to Afghanistan, neither the culture, the history nor current events.   I'm coming back to this, I won't give up.  

~~Tink

Some poems from the past.  The Horsemen of Afghanistan   Afghanistan

[David W. Parsley]

Hi Barry, this poem has some of your most compelling lines and images.  I do feel the first inklings of a connection to the culture here, but agree with Tink that they could be multiplied and deepened to better effect.  I was quite moved by these lines in the poem's center:

On 9/2/2021 at 9:37 AM, eclipse said:

The dancer watching
Interrupts the
Blind man sits on a mountain
Of keys.
A melody of dreams plays between echoes of the
Moon swimming
In heavens birthing pools.
School of tears
Hidden in Afghan rivers,
Lakes, allies 
From Iraq, Pakistan,
Run with widening
Reflections from divine
Waters, 
 

This apparently surreal narrative is actually heavily symbolic of the evaporating dreams of Afghans (especially women and girls) with the reinstatement of Taliban rule.  Most lovely and anguishing is the characterization of the shared dream morphing into a school of fractured losses swimming together, the double entendre of 'school'.

The poem is rife with fully realized meaning and possibilities.  I know you struggle with working a poem much after the initial surge of creativity.  But I truly hope you choose this as one to follow up on.  And when you do, I urge you to populate the surreality with an infusion of real faces and actions of Afghanistan past and present, male and female, Taliban fervor and egalitarian zeal with those who simply want to live with dignity and prosperity with family, friend, community.  I challenge you. I dare you. 

Very Best Regards,
 - David

[JoelJosol]

The poem is like a kaleidoscope of images lined up serially - blindfolded dancers, heaven and flames, a blind man, heaven birthing pools, tears, Afghan rivers and lakes, divine waters and incantations. If this is inspired by the current events, The dancers could be the political players and the blind man just like the blindfolded dancers do not have the insight secured by vision, while the tears could represent loss of hope, and the covenants could be a reference to political agreements. Otherwise, it is just an abstract of surreal images.

I still like how they were all stitched together.