Faces (warning major spiritual content and concepts)

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

i do believe my poem has spiritual concepts in it. i do talk about atheists but what i said about atheists was not attacking them... it is my belief. i know i can't change them. so i don't expect atheists to understand this poem. i talk about spirits and angels. something that i know atheists proclaim don't exist but yet i had experiences that were more than drug induced or sleepless haluncinations. what i said about atheists in this poem is not negative it is just from my point of view and life experiences as to why i worded atheists belief as a lie. to tell you the truth i believe this whole world is full of holes and lies. if atheists can speak their minds in poems i respect it because it is their life vantage point. i dont get offended by much anymore after whati have been thru paralysis, osteomylitis, divorce, my ex having a miscarrage of my son in a car accident the day i became paralysised, being kicked out of my home when i was a teenager, and having to be treated like garbage by blacks but not all blacks in the last facility i lived in. i am not prejudice, racist, or bigot.

 

 

Faces (changes thru the years of my life)

 

Like a mirror that is broken

and sends out a broken reflection

so is my body battered and bruised.

 

God has broken my spirit.

I pray to be no more.

I wish that atheists were correct

that there is no God

but that is a lie

God does exist unfortunately.

 

I wish nihilism was the truth

like atheists proclaim.

I am a Seer of God

and have been revealed

many of his

haunting endearing secrets.

 

I do know God exists because I have had

twenty-one Near Death Experiences

coined (NDE’s).

 

I have also had

numerous Out of Body Experiences

coined (OBE”s) and many spiritual revelations,

visions, and dreams also.

 

I see spirits coming and going

from many dimensions and realms

and I hear their voices also.

 

Psychiatrists have labeled me

as psychotic and bi-polar

because of what I have revealed

to them foolishly.

 

I know God is a male

because I have seen

his reflection in a vision.

 

It does say in scripture

the pure in heart will see God.

I also didn’t see his face

because scripture also says

no man has ever seen

the face of God.

 

I cry in loneliness wondering if secretly

God does this also.

 

My dreams in life always seem

to be shattered somehow.

 

When I was a teenager

I watched my great grand mother

become bed ridden.

 

I wept every night

for three weeks

after she passed away.

 

I was the only one there

at her side when she passed on.

 

The Angel of Peace Gladdiah

comforted me

and I stopped weeping.

I only know this presences name

because a few years ago she visited me.

I saw the light fade

from her eyes that night

when I went to bed.

 

You see my father had kicked me out

when I was fifteen years old at that time

a year before she passed away.

 

Two years later my church

youth director

fondled my legs.

I told no one because I cared

for him dearly.

Sadly he went to jail for

child molestation

and I asked for his release

knowing he was not innocent.

 

In the future several years later

I would marry after spending

a year un the United States Army first

and be on a life high.

Unfortunately after

a stunning honeymoon on the beach

in Naples, Florida

three weeks later we would be in a

horrible car wreck and I would

become paralyzed

a incomplete Quadriplegic.

 

The reason I married

such a young bride

was because my first lover

was sixteen when I was twenty-four

several months before I started dating

my ex-wife I became lonely

when my first lover dumped me.

 

Joyce I knew my whole life

and she disappointed me.

We grew up in the same church.

We knew each other’s our whole life’s.

We had such a beautiful marriage

in the church we grew up in together.

 

But alas after the car accident

in August of 1996 then two years later

our marriage was destroyed

because we had no foundation to build

our marriage upon.

 

I would become independent

living in a apartment

drinking herbal tea

and wines and alcohol

scaring people

with my spiritual experiences

which are vast indeed.

 

During that time I suffered

with a bone infection called Osteomylitis

which is even more painful

then paralysis sciatica nerve pain.

 

I spent thirteen long excruciating months

in a hospital alone

and this is when I was broken

and became mad at God.

 

Jesus Christ disappointed me

in a vision before my wife left me.

I am now more Wicca and a Sophia believer

with a Christian foundation..

 

Now I reside in nursing homes

and write poetry

belonging to several spiritual forums

and several poetry forums.

 

I keep busy

but I’m mad at God

because he couldn’t put my Elizabeth

with me until after the Lamb of God’s return.

I really would of loved

to grow up with my soul mate

in this uncaring world,

So much we could of shared.

But alas God wanted me to do his will first.

which makes me a sad broken Spirit.

.

[tonyv]

Your poem explores complexities of humanity and faith, Victor. Anger and reverence for God synthesize into a bittersweet reality and an acceptance of the same. That aspect is best expressed here:

I wish that atheists were correct

that there is no God

but that is a lie

God does exist unfortunately.

 

I wish nihilism was the truth

like atheists proclaim.

In addition to this effective technique which you have employed, I also enjoyed (as always) how you have drawn from your own life and incorporated your personal experiences into the poem. Well done!

 

Tony

[rhymeguy]

This work has a very Jobesque quality to my mind- "Though He slay me, yet shall I trust Him." It details all the abuses yet holds onto faith. In the end when Job finally confronts God the answer he gets is- I'm God, I do as I see fit. You seem to have caught this spirit well. The first 2 verses were especially poignant for me.

 

rg

[dr_con]

Larsen,

 

an amazing biographical piece, filled with poignant detail and full of a visionary brilliance- The language is rough at several points i.e.

We knew each other’s our whole life’s

Which could read: We knew each other our whole lives- But that's just cleaning.

 

Well done! and you may have inspired the another poem I've been working on- hammering in the final nail as it were!

 

Much Appreciation!

 

DC

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

dr. con i will touch this one up in a few places. i believe honesty is the best policy but drug induced visions and dreams are not reliable even if not fabricated. glad i could be of service.

 

victor aka larsen

[goldenlangur]

Hi victor,

 

A powerful opening to a work that is full of emotion and an impassioned plea for happiness:

 

Like a mirror that is broken

and sends out a broken reflection

so is my body battered and bruised

 

The honesty with which you write is admirable and as always your poem move the reader deeply.

 

Thank you.

[Aleksandra]

Dear Victor, this is hard poem to read, and realizing how the life can be hard.

I agree with all who commented on this poem.

And indeed it's interesting how you include your life and experience in your poetry.

The faith is something what makes us alive. The anger is understandable.

 

Best wishes Vic.

 

Aleksandra