dr_con Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 That Door The madness has come again too fast That Door needs to be opened not with pillage or thermonuclear blast But gently thievery's lock picks a lover's hesitating knock Time returns back Home. Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Wonderful expressed poem. Metaphorical and poignant. I love this one. The last lines hits. Excellent poem Dr_con. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 dr_con, This is the shortest form I've read from you. The pace of the poem and the occasional rhymes, I like. The first two verses sound like a storm, but in the next two, it quiets down. The ending is a home run. Nicely done. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Hi DC, You suggest so much and let the reader pick their way through the evocative images in your poem to arrive at their own musings. I read it as letting things run their course, not trying to impose an order or system to achieve results. This is brilliant: dr_con wrote: thievery's lock picks a lover's hesitating knock .... goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Hi DC, You hooked me with the opening line... its a grabber The madness has come again too fast This was exciting and I wanted to see what was going to happen... Then the narrator throws out a word of caution, as if he is attempting to slow himself down... not get too excited about the possibilities of ... That Door needs to be opened not with pillage or thermonuclear blast never unsure, warming himself but careful not to jump into the fire just yet But gently thievery's lock picks a lover's hesitating knock This had my heart rate up and I was expectant.... Then he thinks himself in control, safe... Time returns back Home. and the safety disappointed me a little... I wanted to see what was on the other side of the door... You say so much in this short poem... This was an intriguing read. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 24, 2009 Author Share Posted May 24, 2009 Thanks all! I was reflecting on short forms- since there has been a recent run (again ;-) of brilliant short works, and thought I'd try a little simplicity to help wash down the spate of detailed pieces I've done;-) Many Thanks! DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 I, too, enjoyed this compact work, Dr. Con, especially the opening hook. I like that you tried something different (in your case a short poem), and your willingness to venture into "uncharted waters" is inspiring.:) Mine are all short, however, I don't think I could compose a long one if I tried.:| Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhymeguy Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 I really enjoyed this excellent miniature. For me the message is two fold: 1) the door to this maddness in which we find ourselves should be opened with care yet we most often run quickly through it with little thought to the consequences. 2) All things come in their own time. We need not rush carelessly through the door to madness, it will come to us soon enough. Great work, as usual, rg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedalus Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Well, Doctor! --- Good to see you on top form again. ded Quote Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 See how a short form invites interpretation DR C, the space to interplay for reader and writer! badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 24, 2009 Author Share Posted May 24, 2009 Ded, Badge- Many Thanks for the read! DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 nice doc...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waxwings Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 dr_con wrote: That Door The madness has come again too fast That Door needs to be opened not with pillage or thermonuclear blast But gently thievery's lock picks a lover's hesitating knock Time returns back Home. Everyone has been complimentary enough. To even say I concur iwould be an injustice you do not deserve. I could argue that "with" (in L4) seems the wrong preposition re "pillage" which is not a means like key, ram, hammer or, as you have, with "blast", nor a designation of reason, like intent, malice, and since the common use is "by ruthless violence (+pillage) or thermo- etc." would be simplercleare. Another oddity, though possibly believable, is to use "a lock (thievery's?) to pick a ... knock". Methinks, you suggest to the reader a "knock" to be as good as any device to "pick a lock", meaning a way "to open a locked door". That last certainly would be a most novel image/metaphor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.