mikejewett Posted June 13, 2022 Share Posted June 13, 2022 Hi, I'm Mike and I'm new here. I'll be commenting on other posts shortly. Phases of the Moon Whenever the sweet-scented calyx of palm collects the blue midday sun in your hair, I sit passing time in the moon’s phases and listen to the roaring silence of thousands of fireflies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted June 13, 2022 Share Posted June 13, 2022 Welcome Mike. Evocative poem. best Phil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 14, 2022 Share Posted June 14, 2022 Welcome, Mike. I'm delighted that you've joined. "The blue midday sun in your hair" is particularly striking and much to my liking. I'm also excited by the almost-sense of confusion I get as midday and night seem to conflict and coexist within the confines of this short poem. I get the same effect from the "thousands" of fireflies which, ostensibly, should light up the night like flames and embers roaring upward from a bonfire, yet their "silence" seems only to enhance the darkness, the blackness of night. Excellent work. I'm looking forward to enjoying more of your poems. Tony 1 Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted June 16, 2022 Share Posted June 16, 2022 Powerful imagery. I like the cadence. The image of a calyx in my mind catching the sun is intriguing. 1 Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted June 16, 2022 Share Posted June 16, 2022 Hi Mike, Nice introduction, I'm sorry I'm late in welcoming you. After reading this first post, I am excited to see what other gems you will provide for us to savor. I loved the imagery and rhythm of this piece. Admittedly I had to look up "calyx" and now I'm challenged to use this word myself. 😎 So glad you've joined us. ~~Tink 1 Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted July 3, 2022 Share Posted July 3, 2022 Welcome to the forum, Mike. I, too, had to look up the term. I like how it fits, too. (And may take opportunity to use it!) I like the tanka-esque quality of the poem. Keep them coming! - Dave 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikejewett Posted July 18, 2022 Author Share Posted July 18, 2022 On 6/13/2022 at 8:28 PM, tonyv said: Welcome, Mike. I'm delighted that you've joined. "The blue midday sun in your hair" is particularly striking and much to my liking. I'm also excited by the almost-sense of confusion I get as midday and night seem to conflict and coexist within the confines of this short poem. I get the same effect from the "thousands" of fireflies which, ostensibly, should light up the night like flames and embers roaring upward from a bonfire, yet their "silence" seems only to enhance the darkness, the blackness of night. Excellent work. I'm looking forward to enjoying more of your poems. Tony Tony, It's funny- I write without thought usually. But I also am always highly aware of every letter, word, line break, the overall shape of the poem, and the total take. Until you mentioned it, I never realized the whole 'midday / night' dichotomy. Again, I kind of write off the cuff. I feel like I should change it. I also feel like I shouldn't. Is a poem ever really finished? Thanks for your feedback, man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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