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Poetry Magnum Opus

Morenita Senryu


tonyv
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badger11
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your midnight hair
and games were played.

lovely

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The rules were made
in air, your midnight hair,
and games were played.

Just a thought

best

Phil

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JoelJosol

I did not get the sense of the poem but I love its alliteration.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Phil, thank you.

On 6/19/2022 at 2:53 AM, badger11 said:

The rules were made
in air, your midnight hair,
and games were played.

Very good point. I agree the poem needs something stronger than "in dreams," and what you've suggested has made me realize it needs something that rhymes with air/hair. I'll give it some more thought, and when/if I do make the change, I'll bump the topic.

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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9 hours ago, JoelJosol said:

I did not get the sense of the poem but I love its alliteration.

Thank you, Joel. It's a bit obscure, I agree, but I'm glad the alliteration works.

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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JoelJosol
9 hours ago, tonyv said:

Thank you, Joel. It's a bit obscure, I agree, but I'm glad the alliteration works.

Tony

I hope I was right that it was pronounced in the sound of d's and r's.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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