I am man.

[pots]

• I want to cry,

  I really want to cry,

  I want to cry and sob

  and just let the tears flow.

  I want to collapse on the floor

  in a sobbing heap

  and cry my heart out.

  I want to hold my arms out

  for someone to hold me

  just for once.

   

  I want to blubber

  and not be judged

  as I garble my fears and worries.

  I want this release of emotion

  I need this relief

  but it will never happen.

  Why!?

  Because I am  man,

  I am a big man,

  I am a strong man,

  I am a mans man,

  men like me

  have no worries,

  men like me are in control,

  my colleagues do not

  take liberties with me,

  men like me have no weak points.

  I am the epitome of man,

  married and never strayed

  still in love with my wife,

  three kids raised on the

  straight and narrow,

  discipline a byword in our house,

  I am the protector of my family,

  the outside world will not

  get beyond me.

  Beating at my chest everyday

  the outside world stops here.

  I will protect my family

  for I am  man!

  I am not allowed emotion

  I am not allowed tears

  I am not allowed weakness

  for I am DAD,

  I am HUSBAND,

  I am MAN.

  I must hide my fears

  and hold back my tears,

  my shoulders must appear broad

  they must appear strong,

  strong enough to carry

  their fears,

  their worries,

  their illnesses,

  they must not droop,

  mine are the shoulders

  they cry on

  mine are the arms

  that comfort them,

  they look to me

  for all of the answers,

  I am their Solomon,

  but I am no king.

   

  In the deepest hour of night

  when the home is asleep

  I sit in the dark

  and quietly I cry.

  I cry for someone

  to listen to me,

  I cry for someone

  to understand my fears

  my insecurities,

  I cry for someones broad shoulders

  to weep on,

  I cry because I'm embarrassed

  that I'm crying.

  I dry their tears,

  but who dries mine?

  I soothe their fears,

  but who will soothe mine?

  I cannot turn to another man for this

  for I am,  man,

  I cannot turn to my wife for this

  for fear I will frighten her,

  and my children,

  they must never know.

  And so I smile,

  I smile to assure them,

  I smile to hide my fears,

  I smile and say everything is fine.

   

  Tonight, when the house is asleep

  I will sit alone in the dark

  and I will cry,

  no one will hear me, no one will know.

   

   

   

   

   

       

   

  ---

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[tonyv]

Pots, you’re the man! No one can take that away from you. They can try, but they have nothing. Money? That’s nothing; it’s just paper. Cowardly litigation? Let them step up to you on the street! They have nothing; they are nothing. Welcome to PMO. Welcome home. 

Tony

[Tinker]

Welcome Pots,  Oooof this hurt and that is what poetry is supposed to do, make the reader feel something. I felt the pain.  

So sad the wife can't stand beside her man, as much comfort to him as he is to her.  I know too many men like this who would be very surprised if they gave their underestimated wives a chance to be their safe haven.  It reminded me of the compassion we need to show our wounded warriors, the bravest of the brave, hiding their tears to live up to their perceived role.  Sad piece.

~~Tink