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Poetry Magnum Opus

I am man.


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  • I want to cry,
    I really want to cry,
    I want to cry and sob
    and just let the tears flow.
    I want to collapse on the floor
    in a sobbing heap
    and cry my heart out.
    I want to hold my arms out
    for someone to hold me
    just for once.
    I want to blubber
    and not be judged
    as I garble my fears and worries.
    I want this release of emotion
    I need this relief
    but it will never happen.
    Because I am  man,
    I am a big man,
    I am a strong man,
    I am a mans man,
    men like me
    have no worries,
    men like me are in control,
    my colleagues do not
    take liberties with me,
    men like me have no weak points.
    I am the epitome of man,
    married and never strayed
    still in love with my wife,
    three kids raised on the
    straight and narrow,
    discipline a byword in our house,
    I am the protector of my family,
    the outside world will not
    get beyond me.
    Beating at my chest everyday
    the outside world stops here.
    I will protect my family
    for I am  man!
    I am not allowed emotion
    I am not allowed tears
    I am not allowed weakness
    for I am DAD,
    I am HUSBAND,
    I am MAN.
    I must hide my fears
    and hold back my tears,
    my shoulders must appear broad
    they must appear strong,
    strong enough to carry
    their fears,
    their worries,
    their illnesses,
    they must not droop,
    mine are the shoulders
    they cry on
    mine are the arms
    that comfort them,
    they look to me
    for all of the answers,
    I am their Solomon,
    but I am no king.
    In the deepest hour of night
    when the home is asleep
    I sit in the dark
    and quietly I cry.
    I cry for someone
    to listen to me,
    I cry for someone
    to understand my fears
    my insecurities,
    I cry for someones broad shoulders
    to weep on,
    I cry because I'm embarrassed
    that I'm crying.
    I dry their tears,
    but who dries mine?
    I soothe their fears,
    but who will soothe mine?
    I cannot turn to another man for this
    for I am,  man,
    I cannot turn to my wife for this
    for fear I will frighten her,
    and my children,
    they must never know.
    And so I smile,
    I smile to assure them,
    I smile to hide my fears,
    I smile and say everything is fine.
    Tonight, when the house is asleep
    I will sit alone in the dark
    and I will cry,
    no one will hear me, no one will know.

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Pots, you’re the man! No one can take that away from you. They can try, but they have nothing. Money? That’s nothing; it’s just paper. Cowardly litigation? Let them step up to you on the street! They have nothing; they are nothing. Welcome to PMO. Welcome home. 


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Welcome Pots,  Oooof this hurt and that is what poetry is supposed to do, make the reader feel something. I felt the pain.  

So sad the wife can't stand beside her man, as much comfort to him as he is to her.  I know too many men like this who would be very surprised if they gave their underestimated wives a chance to be their safe haven.  It reminded me of the compassion we need to show our wounded warriors, the bravest of the brave, hiding their tears to live up to their perceived role.  Sad piece.


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~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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