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Mancubus's Cooking


Assaf1981
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Assaf1981

An angry snarl,

A hulking beast!

 

Hellfire shoots out

At frightened pre-teens

As they scatter,

Screaming bloody murder!

 

No matter what,

Respect Mancubus’s cooking!

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Oh My,  This is beyond my world. Please indulge my old brain's quandering the imagery.

I googled "Mancubus" and found a gurgling, snorting type of monster in video games which fits with the first two stanzas although I didn't see fire breathing or any reference to cooking.   This might be a very personal observation, as families or work groups often assign fictional names to family or group members.  A cook who prepares foods so hot that flames shoot from the mouth might be called "Glaurung" the fire breathing dragon from Tokien's Middle Earth.  So with my total ignorance of video game characters, I read this poem with a smile and assume "Mom" is Mancubus.  

I really like the form your poem takes. Written in 3 unrhymed stanzas with the rhythm of normal speech, made up of a couplet, a quatrain and followed by a couplet.  Beginning, content, and end.  Nice and neat with an exclamatory last line.  Only critique from me would be, I'm kind of missing a stronger connection between the first 2 stanzas and the last.  This may have a target audience of which I am an outsider but I can appreciate the writing skill that went into the presentation.  Well written

`~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Assaf1981
27 minutes ago, Tinker said:

Oh My,  This is beyond my world. Please indulge my old brain's quandering the imagery.

I googled "Mancubus" and found a gurgling, snorting type of monster in video games which fits with the first two stanzas although I didn't see fire breathing or any reference to cooking.   This might be a very personal observation, as families or work groups often assign fictional names to family or group members.  A cook who prepares foods so hot that flames shoot from the mouth might be called "Glaurung" the fire breathing dragon from Tokien's Middle Earth.  So with my total ignorance of video game characters, I read this poem with a smile and assume "Mom" is Mancubus.  

I really like the form your poem takes. Written in 3 unrhymed stanzas with the rhythm of normal speech, made up of a couplet, a quatrain and followed by a couplet.  Beginning, content, and end.  Nice and neat with an exclamatory last line.  Only critique from me would be, I'm kind of missing a stronger connection between the first 2 stanzas and the last.  This may have a target audience of which I am an outsider but I can appreciate the writing skill that went into the presentation.  Well written

`~~Tink

Thank you.

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