Only She . . . . . Warning - Political Opinion

[Tinker]

Only She

When does it begin?
In the rutting of two strangers,
In the surrender of a young girl
just wanting to please him,
In a good time, having fun, and he is so hot,
In a lonely soul needing to connect,
Two lovers, sharing bodies,
Rape,
A couple joining to create a family?
 
Is it biology or God's intervention?
Egg plus sperm, fetus, baby . . .

He may never know.
Circumstance, faith, family, support,
health, education, career, money,
she must make choices,

Carry to term?
Nine months of puking, stretching,
growing, craving, weeping, aching,
and eventually, endless, stabbing pain waits,
sometimes, even death.

After birth?
Nurture, support, and raise the child,
or
painfully give it away?

Abort?
take the morning after pills,
timing, cramping, bleeding,
submit to costly surgical D and C,
if laws allow,
find a quack with a coat hanger,
risk infection, damage, possibly death.
Live with guilt, judgement, loss.

Not easy, not comfortable, not pretty, not popular.
Whatever path,
Only she should choose.
                   ~~Judi Van Gorder

[dr_con]

Well done and fair. J

[David W. Parsley]

Judi, I admire the courage it takes to put a piece like this out there, in the presence of friends and respected colleagues.  When I figure out more of the nuanced aspects that you so directly confront in this production, I will probably have something to bring here, too.  Till that time, let me just offer my support and

Compliments,
 - David

[Tinker]

1 hour ago, David W. Parsley said:

Judi, I admire the courage it takes to put a piece like this out there, in the presence of friends and respected colleagues.  When I figure out more of the nuanced aspects that you so directly confront in this production, I will probably have something to bring here, too.  Till that time, let me just offer my support and

Compliments,
 - David

Thank you David.   I considered taking this down shortly after I posted it.  I've always considered myself prolife, BUT, Iam  passionately against the criminalization of abortion. 

Until you walk in her shoes, this subject is hard to understand.   In my teens and early twenties it was illegal.  Most girls I knew, knew someone who could put you in touch with someone that could help for a fee.  A person at a secret address with a surgical tube and a long probe, sometimes simply a coat hanger.  I knew girls who were damaged by this, physically and mentally and I knew one who almost bled to death.  I don't know that most men can fully comprehend the desparation that could drive a young woman to such a risky venture and it is often first suggested or egged on by her male partner if she has one that stuck around.   The pressure, socially, financially and emotionally is enormous and the decision is never easy.   I just don't want to see the backroom secret stuff happening again.  

Thanks again,  Judi

[tonyv]

Succinct, distilled, well-composed -- and no taking it down! A poem is most powerful when it's honest.

From time-to-time, I'm banned or censored for saying what I think on various online forums. Almost anything goes on PMO (as long as there's a content warning in the title where deemed necessary). So, why self-censor? I mean, obviously the forum can't become an outlet for pedophiles, but that's an extreme example. This is your valid, thought-through, meaningful opinion and a worthy, moving poem!

Tony

[David W. Parsley]

I resonate with every single point made in the poem.  The three main dilemmas that prevent me jumping to easy answers (which this poem and replies also adroitly avoid in most cases):

1.  To flatly state, "My body, my choice," can be seen as a logical error.  If only one body is involved, what is there to abort?  And if there is another body, why isn't that a valid concern of society and law?

2. To flatly state that human life begins at inception and always begins with God's sanction, seems to conflict with both science and scripture.  So how can somebody declare the act to be one of murder?

3. Both positions bypass a neglected topic IMHO (could probably be humbler): degrees of cruelty and suffering as the Other Body achieves increasing stages of maturity, regardless of personhood assessment.  It's not okay to microwave a puppy or stage a cock fight, but it's okay to dismember a mature fetus because somebody made a choice?  

If anyone here has thought through any of these questions more thoroughly, or has a helpful reference, I would greatly appreciate hearing from them.  There aren't many forums where I would feel safe in airing these perspectives.  It is good to have a diversity of thoughtful, well-informed friends!

Respectfully,
 - David

[Tinker]

David, Thanks for this follow up. Absolutely agree, this subject is so far beyond the simple “my body my choice” or “baby murderer” slogans.  I appreciate the thoughtfulness behind your post. More dialog like this should be happening. 

i had a friend who was a nun who worked with Rachel, an organization initiated by nuns that provided support for young women who had had abortions and were having problems coping with their actions. I went with her to a couple of their meeting. I have since lost track of Suzanne and don’t  know if the organization still exists, it was before Rowe v Wade. The circumstances leading to the girls’ decisions were all different, the desperation usually the same and the guilt was universal.  What I took away from my experience was that young women facing pregnancy really don’t have much support in a circumstance that is always painful, will involve a great deal of struggle, and that will change their life forever.  They are very alone, once pregnant they are very often abandoned.  That is what needs to be addressed.  

~~Judi

[David W. Parsley]

Thanks so much for that insight, Judi.  Such a formative experience that you deliberately sought out of compassion.  And I deeply resonate with something you said above: it is profoundly unjust to criminalize vulnerable girls who are going through their first pregnancy.

David