Lake Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Life waits inside us… Life waits inside us like a spark struck from flint. Life is a new bud atop an old branch. Life is ceaseless as streams running towards the sea. Life is that sleeping, plump infant trapped in the debris from an 8.0-magnitude earthquake. He sucks in milk and blood dripping from his mother’s nipples, breathes peacefully in a narrow space, arched by mother’s body and shoulders. It is May, a time of May flowers and Mother’s day. In the rocking arms of a rescuer, he stares, smiles around, trying to make out who these faces are. Life shines in his innocent, curious eyes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 loved it lake, your last few poems have been excellent. maybe your english is not as perfect as you like but your poems are blossoms surrounded by only buds trying to bloom. this poem is so raw honest and shows your innocence. it seems as though someone close to you had a baby but i could be wrong lol. either way yopur talent as a poet has improved immensely since i started reasding your works. im very impressed by this poem. this is a masterpiece lake. i love the second top last 3 lines. you captured the magic of a newborn's essence perfectly. as for grammer mistakes i saw none that i noticed. then again i suffered brain damage 13v years ago in a car wreck and i am oroned to making tons of grammar mistakes. love it lake. larsen aka victor larsen m. callirhoe is a pseudonym and pen name. victor michael lash----- is my birth name lake. take care my friend. Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Emotive, dramatic, poignant. Written from the heart. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Very intensely written.... a true 'mother's day' poem...... and who doesn't smile. at this time of year, warm weather........ as a gal pushes a baby carriage along....... or 2 gals with 2 carriages.....enjoying themselves under the sun..... funny, between mother's day and father's day, is memorial day. but the young buds dont notice !! such righteous obliviousness..... and that is............ The beauty and grace of ' the innocent curious " the nobility of all rescuers ! all around this world.... and I think to myself....what a wonderful world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhymeguy Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Incredibly poignant. You have said it all with beauty, honesty and grace. To say more would only distract. rg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Simply amazing Lake, well constructed and I agree with Badge straight from the heart- an emotive beauty... Well, well done, DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Tselepides Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Lake, Nice poem about life and esp. that of a baby. I liked the images and the ending also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Victor, Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad you think I'm making progress. Badger, Thanks for your three strong words. Very encouraging. Carlo, Thanks for reading and sharing your thought. Dr_Con, As always thank you for your positives. Nick, Very glad to see you here. Hope to read more of your works. Thank you all. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Incredibly poignant. You have said it all with beauty, honesty and grace. To say more would only distract. rg Hi RG, Sorry I missed your comment. Glad to know you liked it. Regards, Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Lake, I like how you juxtapose the seemingly idyllic with the grit: Life is that sleeping, plump infant trapped in the debris from an 8.0-magnitude earthquake. He sucks in milk and blood dripping from his mother’s nipples, breathes peacefully in a narrow space, arched by mother’s body and shoulders. It is May, a time of May flowers ... Life is good, unless one's life is hell. The infant doesn't even realize his predicament, and you show that well. Very well done. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 Hi Tony, I like what you said "how you juxtapose the seemingly idyllic with the grit". I made a few minor changes and changed the title to "Under the Ruins". What do you think? Thanks as always. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Wow Lake. This is one of your best poems. ...Life is that sleeping, plump infant trapped in the debris from an 8.0-magnitude earthquake. He sucks in milk and blood dripping from his mother’s nipples, breathes peacefully in a narrow space, arched by mother’s body and shoulders. Amazing expression for a life. Wonderful crafted poem. I can't stop reading it. Thanks very much for sharing. It's brilliant. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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