Dear World, Signed America

[tonyv]

Dear World,

If all my girls in money sparkles kicked
their finer habits like you shirk off debt,
would all my guys with glamor girls forget
their own dull quirks? Your problems might be licked
if only British English would persist
in every village, city desk, and verse;
above, please note the Harvard comma -- pissed
would be your formalist! But I'm diverse,
and to omit it could admit defeat;
until I do, I'll flex on you. And while
a thousand-million mimickers compete
with other polly-parrots of my style,
another tide draws surf beyond their reach,
another breeze jets froth across my beach.

--------------/s/America, not yesterday ... today

______________________________________

^{Harvard comma}

[badger11]

hi Tony

 

The British elite, to generalise, are as corrupt as any; their use of language a veneer of respectability (probably why Pinter made so much use of the pause). No doubt there's some correlation between power and corruption. Personally I have no problem accepting the inevitable 'corrupting' influences of 'American English'

 

--badge

[tonyv]

Thanks, Badge, for your kind and perceptive comment!

 

^{badger11 wrote:}

 

Personally I have no problem accepting the inevitable 'corrupting' influences of 'American English'

Comeon down, and we be

 

Tony

[Lake]

Tony,

 

what do you think of the Hong Kongnese in this one?

 

What the Pig Mama Says

 

The pupoh stopped to cheer. Leklek

was took away. He was mine biggest boy.

A good heart. Saved the best for Yenyen

and Hokhok. His- self eating leftovers.

I cried I cried. Not knew the bastang

took him where. Gokgou told me was hell.

 

We ate much as we liked. The white fence

put us safe safe. Always we talked, cheered.

The pupoh liked to play with Hokhok.

Mine little boy talked to them sweet.

He knew how make make community.

But Hokhok too was took away by same

 

same bastang they took Leklek before.

Mine only girl Yenyen too sad to see

her little brother went. She kept quiet

everydays think think. I begged the bastang

not took mine boy. They not understood.

Heard only something like “pok is good ”.

 

The pupoh talked little little. Yenyen

stopped to eat. She said, “No Hokhok play

wis me !” I sorry sorry for her. The bastang

came to take Yenyen. I saw her away.

I not cried. Maybe it better for Yenyen.

She will stop to think. No more think.

 

No more think think. Maybe I say

too much. Who is listening to my story?

[tonyv]

Hong Kongnese?!? It excites me, Lake! Do tell ... who wrote it? Please give some background info on the poem and the Hong Kongnese. Is it a pidgin? It has da flava of a rap song!

 

Tony

[Lake]

Ah, English spoken in Hong Kong. What's your first impression of the language used here, without knowing the background info? Yeah, as you said, a pidgin.

 

I understand, in this life, my English can never match up to those native English speakers, but if this works as a poem, then...you know what I mean.

[tonyv]

I have to say, Lake, I like the characteristic repetition. The reason I said pidgin is because here we say things that originate from "Chinglish" (and perhaps from other linguistic blends, too) all the time without even realizing it -- stuff like "No can do!" My friends think I'm an idiot , but I even make stuff up once in awhile. I say stuff like "This kid needs to take a shau-shau" (shower). Don't know where it comes from, but I enjoy it.

 

Btw, your English is fantastic. I have said before that, although Estonian is my first language, my Estonian vocabulary (to a lesser extent my grammar) is limited to the level of a "kitchen language." I couldn't write a poem in Estonian (or English) as good as those bilinguals here on our board who have learned English from scratch and compose wonderful verse in English, American, Canadian, Australian ... or Hong Kongnese.

 

Tony

[dr_con]

Tony,

 

a multifaceted poem- way beyond simple gramatikal arguments;-) I must say the hypertext thrilled me- I love Badge's observation, but in terms of the 'real' you do achieve the 'meta' ;-)

 

DC

[tonyv]

Tony,

 

a multifaceted poem- way beyond simple gramatikal arguments;-) I must say the hypertext thrilled me- I love Badge's observation, but in terms of the 'real' you do achieve the 'meta' ;-)

 

DC

 

Thanks, Dr. Con, for the high level compliment! It wasn't a conscious effort, but I'm glad it turned out that way. I'll post an audio version, too.

 

Tony

[Aleksandra]

Ops... sorry I missed this one. I got confused by reading all day long . I hope you will appreciate my work Tony today, especialy when you are out having fun and enjoyable time with your loved ones and me working . But I am having fun also - so you know .

 

Tony you explore something new and I love that part. I enjoyed this poem, and interesting what made you to write this one .

 

This is original and I enjoy it a lot:

 

/s/America, not yesterday ... today

 

That remindes to think properly, for nowdays. Cool poem, fresh, clever, relaxed.

 

You are good Tony, I love your job.

[Tinker]

Hi Tony I loved the sound of this Blank Verse. It is lyrical and clever and interesting. And your poem sparked commentary on the use of language that drew out Lake's poem in "pidgin". Now where did that word come from? This whole thread makes me smile. ~~Tink

[tonyv]

I'm glad you liked the poem, Alek, and I always appreciate your work on the board, but I know you don't do it for me. You do it because you must ... and because you love it.

 

Tony

[tonyv]

^{Tinker wrote:}

 

Hi Tony I loved the sound of this Blank Verse. It is lyrical and clever and interesting. This whole thread makes me smile. ~~Tink

It's been a fun discussion, Tinker. Thanks for joining in.

 

^{Tinker wrote:}

 

And your poem sparked commentary on the use of language that drew out Lake's poem in "pidgin". Now where did that word come from?

I dunno, but whenever I hear pidgin, I usually think of the bird, pigeon.

 

Tony