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Poetry Magnum Opus

'Tranquility'


Omar013
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"Tranquility"
Torrents.
I tether myself.
And this is not
A placid place.

I sink in my voices
So I can't hear them
- their restless noise-
The shouting music
and her deafening
fiddles

Tailor a shuck
Muting their tongues,
Sewing them with rocks,
Pebble by pebble
And their current
 Is Cut.

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Hi Omar, I'm unsure where this one takes me.  Contradicting images pull me back and forth.  I like the personification of music, yes sometimes it does shout. 

Interesting piece, I think I will come back and read again.  It takes some thinking.

~~Tink

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~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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@Tinker thanks for your commentary. I only hope it takes you somewhere, that is the aim of poetry. I wrote this poem out of contradiction between reality and imaginary escape, not as a bad aspect but a healthy and refreshing one. I kinda imagine life and its craziness and turbulences as a giant torrent and I am in the middle wearing my headphones, listening to music which makes like a giant bubble or a dam shielding me from all this nonsense 😂. I hope it makes sense. Thanks again ❤

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David W. Parsley

Hi Omar, some very original use of language here.  I particularly like the opening stanza, its lucid action told with spartan diction.  This poem certainly operates more in the showing rather than telling mode, where even the "telling" of the narrator's mindframe is still a way of advancing the poem's action indirectly.  All that being said, like Tinker, I find the poem just a little too elusive.  Your expanded explanation helped it work better for this reader, which may mean that a few more clues in the body of the piece could be helpful.

Thanks,
 - Dave

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