Terry A Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 Words spreading over air taken in by breath exhaling pink mists soft sighs and tingling thighs exhumed by yesterday’s mule reading, amidst the dark jabs of knowing better. What was expected? When what could be expected? On a huge ocean receptive to any turn of oar where left behind musings were strong enough to stay but too weak to chart the coming changes not planned well, but there. His sun-shaded eyes drifting over fathomless depths Raising hands to air he laboured not the past so much as challenged future To Make it Matter. All those words dancing as waves not particles one could count on Challenging a settlement of affairs raising hell in some other dimension not yet wholly here or there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 Lovely! Juris Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry A Posted January 30, 2023 Author Share Posted January 30, 2023 Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 On 1/28/2023 at 2:19 PM, Terry A said: All those words dancing as waves not particles one could count on These two lines seemed to make the whole thing come together for me. Nice. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry A Posted February 5, 2023 Author Share Posted February 5, 2023 Someone told me once that I don't know how to end a poem and it was true. So I try to see poems now in terms of somewhat complete units, where what's left dangling is much more then just inept trailing off. That's hard for me, 🙂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted February 8, 2023 Share Posted February 8, 2023 Just the right amount of "dangling" for this reader. Nice work, Terry! Thanks, - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted February 9, 2023 Share Posted February 9, 2023 I like the use of alliteration in your poem, the r's and s's. 1 Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry A Posted February 9, 2023 Author Share Posted February 9, 2023 Thanks, thanks, for comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 Thanks for that insight, Joel. I was trying to put my finger on what was particularly pleasing about the sonics of the thing. It's those r's ringing out over the sibilants. More praise for Terry's poem. Cheers, - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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