Gender Wars

[Assaf1981]

He is a soldier,
She is a soldier.

He is young,
She is young.

He is tall and muscular,
She is thin and petite.

He is covered in scars,
She has beautiful, untainted skin.

He is blond and sports a crewcut,
She is a brunette and sports a bun.

He is dressed all in black, from his helmet to his boots,
She is dressed all in black, from her helmet to her boots, save for a long skirt.

He has medals decorating his uniform, commemorating his many victories,
She has medals decorating her uniform, commemorating her many victories.

His emblem is a yellow diamond-shaped road sign,
Her emblem is a yellow diamond-shaped road sign.

His emblem portrays straight road ahead, yet with another path diverging from that same path,
Her emblem portrays counterclockwise arrows indicating a roundabout, with a divergent arrow.

He carries a sword handle with no blade,
She carries a sword handle with no blade.

He is a proud man,
She is a proud woman.

He represents the male gender,
She represents the female gender.

He is a champion,
She is a champion.

He is a misogynist,
She is a misandrist.

His soldiers cheer and jeer,
Her soldiers cheer and jeer.

He stares her down, sneering at both her and the female soldiers before him,
She stares back at him, unintimidated, sneering at both him and the male soldiers before her.

“This is the final showdown, you fucking bitch,” says he.
“You’re going down, you fucking pig,” replies she.

“This was a man’s world; always was, until you bitches took everything from us,” cries he,
“Never again will we females be used, abused, and subjugated by you pigs,” cries she.

“All women are whores,” screams he.
“And all men are pigs,” screams she.

“MGTOW for life,” screams he.
“Girl Power,” screams she.

“Whores! Whores! Whores,” chant the male soldiers in unison,
“Pigs! Pigs! Pigs,” chant the female soldiers in unison.

“MGTOW! MGTOW! MGTOW,” chant the male soldiers in unison,
“GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER,” chant the female soldiers in unison.

He switches on his lightsabre, which is what that sword handle is,
She switches on her lightsabre, which is what that sword handle is.

He swings, slashes, thrusts, dodges, and parries,
She swings, slashes, thrusts, dodges, and parries.

Finally, after much fighting, she stabs him in the stomach,
Finally, after much fighting, he falls to the ground, moaning in pain, holding his bleeding stomach.

He utters his death throes,
She turns to face her soldiers and cries, ‘We are victorious!’

He slowly, painfully, rises to his feet, with his lightsabre still on,
She has his back turned to him still, gloating, with her lightsabre in the air.

He stabs her in the back, impales her, and falls on his knees, still bleeding profusely,
She screams in agony and sinks to her knees, bleeding profusely.

“Got you, you fucking bitch,” you says weakly,
“I’m taking you with me, you fucking pig,” she says weakly, while turning to face him.

He falls face first, uttering his death throes,
She falls on her back, uttering her death throes.

The female soldiers recoil and gasp in horror,
The male soldiers recoil and gasp in horror.

He weakly crawls over to her, laying on top of her.
He puckers up and places his lips over hers, then expires.
She puckers up, kisses him on the lips, then expires.