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Poetry Magnum Opus

A kiss


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There's some ecstasizing fear
you sense it
Not in your chest, but
quivering in your gut.

A lonesome emotion
with its singularity.

Buds for once
And last for few ticks
Then hushes softly
Through the tips
Of your fingers.

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Hello Omar,  Love a brief moment captured.  This sounds a little hesitant. Maybe it's because it's been a while, but I keep reading this over and over, trying to connect to the promise of the title.   

 It reads well, but I did stumble over "ecstasizing" (I had to say it out loud a couple of times. I don't think there is really such a word but that's OK, it's what poets do. ) 

I enjoyed this.  ~~Tink

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~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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@tinker thanks so much for the reading. I thought "ecstasizing" would be confusing but I wanted to deliver the accurate meaning which is that the fear causes an ecstasy not it's an ecstatic fear but the panic of this moment itself flashes an undescriptive transport.

 Thanks again for the read and the commentary.

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"a lonesome emotion    with its singularity" -beautiful in the poem because so concentrated in meaning. Agree with Judi about the word 'estasizing', it's just a little jarring because not keeping with the simplicity of language in the poem. But its meaning (as you have explained it)  is perfect to the poem. This poem says much in few words, captures astutely how depth and substance can expand perception by no excess wordiness. Sensual poem too, subtle, almost erotic in the last lines.


edit: ecstasizing not estasizing

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  • 2 weeks later...
David W. Parsley

I, too, was a little put off by "ecstasizing", partly because it disturbs the otherwise simple diction, but also because it too closely resembles "exercising" which disturbs the motion and sense of tender uncertainty.  I like the vulnerability, the feeling of stakes that are ridiculously high for such a simple act, but what can we do?  This is not a polite kiss upon greeting or parting at a social event.  It's a Kiss, the kind that transforms and transfigures, or devastates.  I would like to see some honing for this potentially exquisite piece, Omar!

 - Dave

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