Machete

[Tinker]

  Machete  

Blunted by apathy and neglect,
the rusted, pitted edge
of my muse is whetted
at an angle against the rasp
of time,  poets gone before,
scribbles in the palm of my hand,
and the coronation of words.
It is this grated steel, 
back and forth, over and over,
that hones the surface
to a sharp, smooth blade
to slice and clear my path
through the rainforest.
                    ~~Judi Van Gorder

 

[badger11]

Enjoyed Judi. I could feel that experience of writing in the write. The 'dense rainforest ' is a perfect communication of that verdant and tangling word choice. I have a bias against coronation, due to my discomfort with hereditary power and privilege, but totally connect to scribbles in the palm. I like to doodle!

Bw

Phil

[Tinker]

Thanks Phil.    Haha, unencumbered by supporting a monarchy, "coronation" is fairy tale to me.  The recent event in the UK was fascinating to watch.  Especially the horses.  I still may write a poem about them.  I've never seen so many black horses all in one place.     The animals were so beautiful.  

~~Judi

[badger11]

I refused to watch it Judi! The legacy and stains of royalty, and Empire, are becoming increasingly foregrounded.

Bw

Phil

[Terry A]

Robert Graves spoke so much of the Muse, always a woman. Now I wonder if the Muse for a woman is always a man, or just disembodied inspiration?  Unlike men, this is a question women will rarely answer.

This poem was inspired, no doubt, it its beautiful imagery and clarity. I think the last word-"communication" might be replaced with something more poetic, something softer, less abrupt. It is the eternal struggle of poets, the struggle between mere communication (after all, facts do that better than metaphors) and inspiration, which always touches (however barely) upon the spiritual. And so I'd lift that last line a little loftier.

Liked the poem very much!

About coronations, I can say nothing good. Pomp and ceremony representing feudalism and a ruling class that has forgotten the meaning of noblesse oblige. But all is irony in their ranks now, so even that has lost meaning.

 

[Tinker]

Thanks Terry,  You confirmed my doubts about the last line.   Now I just have find that more "poetic" word or no word at all.   Leave it in metaphor without being telly.

~~Judi

Original edited
Blunted by apathy and neglect,
the rusted, pitted edge
of my muse is whetted
at an angle against the rasp
of time,  poets gone before,
scribbles in the palm of my hand,
and the coronation of words.
It is this grated steel, 
back and forth, over and over,
that hones the surface
to a sharp, smooth blade
to hack at slice and clear my path
through the dense
rainforest of communication.

Revision won 🏆 1st place in "Shadows and Light"  poetry contest at WDC.