Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Would LOVE for someone to critique my second rhyming poem. Pretty please?


Recommended Posts

A pair of green neon rings

Hovering freely in the air;

What exactly are those things?

From whence do these strange rings come?


No mortal man can know exactly,

But according to some storytellers,

They’re the eyes of beings otherworldly,

Unperceived by the eyes of mortal men!


Though mortals can see them not,

Yet we can hear their voice;

A deep, disembodied collective voice,

Unnerving both agent and foe alike!


Chilling abilities do these beings have;

For they can bring back what was once destroyed,

Even those that have gone the way of all flesh,

And use them for their own objectives!


One can often find those rings in paintings

Of young, upstart barefoot warriors

Holding quarterstaves; some genuflecting,

And some posing with their staves, ready to strike!


Some of these warriors

Are dressed like those

From the ancient levant,

And some are dressed more modernly.


Some of these young males and females

Have a grim, pallid complexions,

And their eyes even glow neon green,

Intimidating all would-be foes.


But in all cases, these mysterious rings

are always hovering over those fighter’s heads:

closely watching, carefully studying,

and even plotting their destruction!






Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.