Would LOVE for someone to critique my second rhyming poem. Pretty please?

[Assaf1981]

A pair of green neon rings

Hovering freely in the air;

What exactly are those things?

From whence do these strange rings come?

 

No mortal man can know exactly,

But according to some storytellers,

They’re the eyes of beings otherworldly,

Unperceived by the eyes of mortal men!

 

Though mortals can see them not,

Yet we can hear their voice;

A deep, disembodied collective voice,

Unnerving both agent and foe alike!

 

Chilling abilities do these beings have;

For they can bring back what was once destroyed,

Even those that have gone the way of all flesh,

And use them for their own objectives!

 

One can often find those rings in paintings

Of young, upstart barefoot warriors

Holding quarterstaves; some genuflecting,

And some posing with their staves, ready to strike!

 

Some of these warriors

Are dressed like those

From the ancient levant,

And some are dressed more modernly.

 

Some of these young males and females

Have a grim, pallid complexions,

And their eyes even glow neon green,

Intimidating all would-be foes.

 

But in all cases, these mysterious rings

are always hovering over those fighter’s heads:

closely watching, carefully studying,

and even plotting their destruction!

 

 

 

 

[Tinker]

Assad,If this is a fist draft and you want a full critique maybe this should be in the workshop not the Showcase which is more for finished poems.   ~~Tink