Omar Posted June 29, 2023 Share Posted June 29, 2023 Lest someone to know, To predict or to doubt. Lest the criers of the heart Be heard. Lest the prey sees the cobweb or the Bird smells the Loaded gun through The fierce wind, The poison in the bread- The sneaky rat-the mildewed Cheese, A cat's gaze - a Bird's wings, shipwreck - Million feathers " 'tis all fate " said they. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry A Posted July 2, 2023 Share Posted July 2, 2023 Now you are writing poetry. Some very good imagery, and condensed, unnecessary verbiage eliminated. No moralizing. Showing not telling, not spelling your theme out through tedious detail. The makings of a poet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted July 2, 2023 Share Posted July 2, 2023 Terry pretty much said it. I especially liked On 6/29/2023 at 6:51 AM, Omar said: Lest the prey sees the cobweb or the Bird smells the Loaded gun through The fierce wind, Nice, ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted July 3, 2023 Author Share Posted July 3, 2023 @Tinker @Terry A thank you both so much for the read and critique. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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