Omar Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry A Posted July 7, 2023 Share Posted July 7, 2023 Using the word ‘o’er’ twice, weakens the first two lines. Plus it’s not really ‘blackness’ when it’s a poem about the light of the moon; more about the lights that night has. Suggest ending the poem at “Singeing me with fondness”; as the following lines are too abstract to ground meaning in any but the new age ways so nebulous in the preceding decades. The poem is worth a rewrite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 Hi Omar, I'm with Terry on this, o'er is over used. Otherwise, though some of the language is archaic, I found this a fascinating read. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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