Poor family

[Poemme]

By the open fire

He thought about his poor family

Who shared their shoes

And ate the food

Stolen from a truck.

 

At night the cold came

Into their rooms and bed

And he lay awake

Mistaking the pounding in the nearby factory

For the tense pulse in his ears

Wondering about when he would sleep

And hoping something would happen.

 

Lunch was a fried scone

And his mended socks

Were wet from the hole in his shoes.

 

Coming home from school

His stomach ached

And bent him at the waist as he walked

He didn’t know if it was hunger

Or the coke he drank

Having borrowed five cents from a friend.

 

When the snow came

The streets were silent

And the church down the road

Was dark and closed to the world.

 

What did it matter

When they raged in the kitchen

And strangers came to the door

And the mystery was never explained

Except that it never went away?

 

Money was owed and deals made

And shame was for the children

Sent to make a bargain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[badger11]

A dark poem of deprivation P., not a moment of light in the bleakness. I appreciate the clarity of the depiction, and the authenticity of detail. The 'open fire' intrigued me. On a literal level I thought of homelessness, though in hope I thought of light in the bleakness, perhap a better life. On a metaphorical level, I thought of openness, and the personal nature of the write.

 

[Terry A]

This poem is full of stereotypes. It highlights the banal nature of poverty. What you write is as true now as ever in the centuries before. Perhaps worse now, because of how stark and known are the divisions between the haves and the have-nots.

The ending of the poem? were the children sold? that's where you hint at true horror.

[Poemme]

Thanks for responding. I think I like leaving things unsaid, or suggested, the “horror” as you said, always shifting about creating a sense of uneasiness.

What do you think of the format? I’m having a debate with someone who thinks work like this leans too much towards the short story and hence not “real” poetry.

[Poemme]

On 6/3/2024 at 11:44 AM, badger11 said:

A dark poem of deprivation P., not a moment of light in the bleakness. I appreciate the clarity of the depiction, and the authenticity of detail. The 'open fire' intrigued me. On a literal level I thought of homelessness, though in hope I thought of light in the bleakness, perhap a better life. On a metaphorical level, I thought of openness, and the personal nature of the write.

 

Sorry, late reply. I sometimes forget about etiquette on these sites. I don’t often write on a personal level, but I like to play with my own experiences and build something around them.  

[Terry A]

First, I need a definition of "real" poetry, ask your friend for that.

 

[Poemme]

Just now, Terry A said:

First, I need a definition of "real" poetry, ask your friend for that.

 

Well that’s my position too. But it’s a tired old argument.